Why we need artists to die young and suffer

Why we exploit artists

29-06-2007

Do you think it is a coincidence that many talented artists die early, rely on drugs and are in deep psychological problems?

Well I am not saying all of them are like that. But really the true artists the true geniuses the people, musicians artists writers, they have a tendency to be unstable than most of us.

Why is that?
I am not saying this is the all mighty truth of the matter, but here is my theory.
I think we are using artists to indirectly experience the true depth of emotions thoughts and feelings without having to go there ourselves.
What does this mean?

It means that most of us, to survive everyday life, to live, to put the bread on the table, and not struggle in a corner hiding ourselves, we block most of our emotions and thoughts away to keep to the minimum. Our society makes it so that it is a virtue to keep a balance of things. To not get carried away, may it be happiness, sadness, madness or any other emotions and feelings one can and do get. When we do feel that the balance of emotions have been broken then we resort to medicine, vacation, therapy etc. We are scared of being in a state where one cannot control one’s emotions. For the emotional states to take hold of oneself.
On the other hand, we long for these emotions as well. We are put in a conflict where one must block and rid of emotions as much as possible to deal with daily routines and function as a member of society, while our instinct craves and needs the emotional rush to make us feel alive.

What is our solution, we sometimes go in a fit of many emotions, but better yet, we use the indirect method of experiencing a certain feeling or flow or emotions through the product of others' emotions and feelings. - Which is music, art, novels, movies, etc.

Let me give you an example, when you listen to Billie Holiday, one feels the sorrow, or the blues intricate within her voice. We can experience the mood Billie was in just through listening to her songs. Her voice makes us feel what she felt. ( I wish my vocabulary was better than this, because I am not finding the right words to explain myself). However, we also can get out of it. Get back to our tranquil state of things in the equilibrium. We can leave the mood when the song ends. However, Lady Day to produce what she did, she was in a state which at the end killed her. Under the influence of drugs and substance abuse.

Although many believe that musicians should live the stereotype life of substance abuse and constant instability, but I think we actually need them to do so, because what these drugs to is exactly push them to an extreme state of emotions, which enable them - not all of them but some- to produce what enable us to just taste or have a glimpse of what is possible.
We ourselves are too scared to do so for the fear of not being able to come back to the balance of things again, however, we want to experience them.
This is why we are in a sense in need of these fragile emotionally sensitive people to give us their experiences in notes, voices etc. Some times we are exploiting them.
We are the ones who are encouraging them to shoot up the crack inside their systems- encouraging them to really go towards the edge so they can come back and tell us what is there. While the rest of us just wallow near the edge dipping our toes.

I write incessantly

Although there are not many blogs that are published here, I have loads of work that are draft versions of what I wanted to write at the moment. Its just that I try my best to write something more decent, not just some jibberish on line, so I keep it, and later on when there hasn't been much published logs, I publish them.
Its like I am a perfectionist who procrastinates until the pressure comes down and then I loose all standards for my writing.

Something similar to what I do with my day-job- not to say that I only do this type of work during the day. No sir- as you can see, most of my blog logs are during the day hehe. Strive for perfection, sit on your hands, get stressed- deadline comes- loose all standards - finish in a haste- forget I've done such work. The story of my life.

Forget free hugs, how about some "free psycho theraphy" ??

As many of you will know there has been this huge craze which more or less started off with this you tube video called "the Free Hugs Campaign" about giving random people on the street Free Hugs to bring some warmth in their lives.

I actually thought it was quite moving, for I also think that there are animosity in society because one person refused to open up and that spread the distance between people. And how if one person started to open up, at least through a hug that it might change how people react towards each other. However, I think it has been ab it too overrated with kids hugging everyone in school every time they meet, making schools societies ban this movement... etc.

Okay, having said that, what I really think we need is free psycho therapy sessions. I mean hugs are okay, but what one really needs is someone that listens to their stories. I am amazed about how people have SO much to say without anyone to listen to them. Thus the amazing amount of blog postings each day on the Internet never mind other ways of communication. I guess it is because only when you are able to express what is inside of yourself, may it be ideas thoughts or fury over something happened, or experiences etc. You are actually alive in this society. If not there is no reason for your existence, at least not to others.

Of course many might say that the want to express oneself verbally may be a feminine characteristic. However I believe the need to be heard or express oneself is not a feminine character but there are gender differences between what needs to be said.

However, regardless of this need to express our thoughts into the outer world, to someone, there are huge deficits in the tunnels of this voicing. People try out different sources, their parents, their friends, their partner/spouse, lover, blogs, Internet communities, and a course many take at the end our professional listeners, psycho therapists and our priests. (yes I believe priests are the former versions of psycho therapists * refer to this blog entry.

Its just that because it is not considered a virtue to always talk about our favourite topic- "myself" - to other people all the time, (of course sex will be the other favourite topic, but this is actually promoted by others to be worthy of other's time and to be in everyday conversations) - we need some other routes to voice out and exist.

Here comes our idea of "free psycho therapy" or actually just "free listeners".
Although there already are many helplines that do such things, but one is only restricted to call them when there is an "emergency" and not bother people not all the time with the daily trivial things - which I must say is exactly what one needs to talk about.

I think the whole idea about love or relationship is that one has this person to tell and share the trivial things. The big things one can share with others, for these topics are usually take as something "worth talking about". It is those little things, that are "insignificant" to others, but that are important to us that one wants and needs to share. Of course having regular sex is another good reason to have a stable relationship.

But how about those of us without the possibilities for this trivial conversations? You see hugs are just not enough. It is just a physical show of affection or in one sense 'no-harm'. This is just a start, and let's not end there, lets do go on and provide people who will listen and maybe talk back even.

...

Unproductive day

I know that I am being very unproductive that day when it takes be 3 hours to finally hook up my external harddrive to the computer that I will be working at.

like today....

Temptation....

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself. --- Oscar Wilde

Asparagus made my urine smell... well more nutty.

I had never tried asparagus before I came to the flat lands.
the first time I had it was when one of my ex had served it to me two years back, thought it was quite "strange"
Whichever the case, due to the fact that Brabant is Asparagus land, I had to buy some and eat it...
had no idea how to cook it eat it, didn't know you had to peel the bottom etc.

Here is something I also had no idea on..

Asparagus makes your urine smell nutty instead of the normal scent of lilacs and roses...

If you don't believe me check out this very reputable site or better yet a whole column on it by an MD. (or just have some asparagus yourself - or follow someone who just had them into the restroom and ask them for a sample smell)

I have to say although they say asparagus makes your urine smell "funny", I thought it just smelled nutty or like yeast or beer. Not those largers or weak beer but more ale or trappist beer types... so much that I thought I had a yeast infection or something- without the itching!

The smell is so that it is said that in a venerable British men's club there is a sign reading "DURING THE ASPARAGUS SEASON MEMBERS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO RELIEVE THEMSELVES IN THE HATSTAND."[cited]

The smell must be really renowned for there is even a site that sells t-shirts which has a whole section of "asparagus makes my urine smell" section.


Its amazing the valuable information you get to learn every day in life...

a song about hating the dutch

“I Hate the Dutch” John Dowie
From the 1977 EP “Another Close Shave”

I’m a British Tourist and I’m very, very rude.
I hate the stinking foreigners

hate their stinking food

I don’t like French or Germans

I don’t care for Belgians much
But worst of all worst of all

I hate the Dutch

The Dutch, the Dutch
I hate them worse than dogs.

They live in windmills
and mince around in clogs.

They don’t have any manners

They don’t say ‘thanks’ or ‘please’
all they eat is tulips
and stinking gouda cheese…

I’m a British tourist with a countenance severe

I love to strike the foreign type
And box their poxied ears

But there’s one woggy dago

I cannot bear to touch
The slimy crawling

stench appalling
snotty grotty Dutch

The Dutch are mad
Their fingers stuck in dikes

They use the wrong side of the road

And ride around on bikes

They don’t have any manners,
don’t have any brains.

There’s only one race worse than them
and that’s… THE DANES!



listen to the song

================
Hey no offense but this is really funny.... :-)

I wish...

I wish I could be someone who writes meaningless thoughts and ideas - all non-scientific- for a living...

When I look at people, many strive to find out exactly what they want to do in life.
I will do that, they say, if only they can find out what they would like to do.

The only problem is that once you are able to find the thing (you think) you want to do , then comes the following questions. Firstly, the doubts on your ability to do it, your true passion in them to do it as a life calling, and lastly the courage to leave what you have been doing for a number of years and actually trying out your chance on the one you've found.

It can be compared to finding your "true love" while being in a long-term steady relationship. You have to ask yourself, those the other person- thus the newly found love- loves you, is your passion towards that person not just some emotional swing, a fling but the real thing, and lastly can you leave the person you were with for the past years who you are confortable with and know well... can you leave it all and start over new?

It might be that you are just bored of your partner after awhile, the initial interest/passion dies out when the hormones are done with and that is why you want to try out new lovers.
Although this also may be that this person wasn't the one for you and you want/need to change/explore etc.

Again, the same with jobs... is it just that the honeymoon period is over or is it that you really need a new vocation??

Rejection

It doesn't really matter whether the whole world accepts you with open arms. It will be that one rejection that will kill you.

Do I scare you?

I feel like I am scaring men away due to my desperation for a relationship or is it due to too much confidence..??

Recent keyword activity

So I have this programe linked to my blog which tells you how many people came to the blog, stayed how long.
It also tell you how people came to your site thus the "recent keyword activity"
So this shows you what types of keywords people searched up - mostly in google- to get to your site.
It also shows you where you are when you search for the word

So here is the most interesting ones I've gotten... to get to my site/ not necessarily the insatiable hee site, but to the specific blog entries.
I am # 1 entry when you search "hoogerbugge" in google.com ( this is because the correct spelling for his name is HoogerbRugge)
#9 on "ajumma definition"
#129 on "male genitals"
and I dunno why and how but you can get to my site when you search for
"teenage guy learns to hypnotize for sexual ga"

Great.

Cool cold and indifferent

I have no idea how many times I've been hurt by the doings/behaviour/words of the Dutch . I feel like I need several months of psycho therapy to get over these traumas..
I have tried so hard to analyze what exactly it is that makes me hurt as such.
And after about two years, realized what it is.
Many dutch are insensitive... they are not the type to think of the feelings of others when they say or do something. They do not try to hurt you on purpose, they are not mean people, but its just that they don't know how to put themselves in other's shoes.
Second of all, you all are supposed to be completely independent here. So again this has to do with the insensitivity but also indifference. You have to do everything by yourself and try not to lean on others. Do not expect someone to take care of you or your special circumstances. It is highly unlikely that someone will do this. Its every man/woman on his/her own. You are supposed to be cold, detached unless in very limited circumstances. They can be logical but not warm hearted. This is the bad side of the coin of not having everyone in your face about things. You can be do practically anything without others judging you, but then again it is extremely hard to have someone care about you. I think this is why foreigners find it difficult to befriend a dutch. As I say, its easy to date one, but hard to befriend one.

What scares me is the idea of me becoming like that because of them. That after awhile I would be this cold detached indifferent being.

I am not saying Dutch is the worst nationality. On the contrary, they have great characteristics as well, which other people usually don't have, which I try hard to learn from. However, there are always two sides to everything...

==============================
I know this may be perceived as being racist but I am not actually trying to generalize the Dutch, really I have lived here far too short to say this, and even if I did, would not be able to say it. But this is just what I've felt several times during my stay here, in comparison to my stay in other countries-(I've lived in five countries in my life in total). Also I believe this experience can be completely different for other people, however this is me and what I felt.

soothing

One thing that makes you glad about being single without any serious relationship at the age or thirty is that you are not a divorcee with a child at this age...
however after much thought, maybe it is actually better to be the divorcee with the child than to be thirty with no serious relationship to your name and comitment issues.

one thing

There's only one thing worse than bad character that is bad looks, and only one thing worse than bad looks, and that is bad breath.

talking

As more and more ways of communicating through the Internet, or through the computer develops, the method of delivering one's thought through letting air out to make sounds through your mouth using the muscles in your mouth and neck, AKA speaking, with another person physically next to you seems like an medieval ancient version of what is now known as typing.

The Heart

"The heart is a resilient little muscle"

--Mickey --- from Woody Allen's "Hannah and her sisters"

If I had my way

You know how you get more and more greedy the more stuff you get?
anyways now that i've heard alot of great bands play, I now want them for example in my own festival or my birthday party~! hey~~
anyhow what will the line up be... I will have to think but definately(not necessarily in this order - this will be the soul/funk line up, not the jazz.)

1. Renee Neufville
2. Roy Hargrove and the RH Factor - the 2005 line up
3. Rob van de Wouw
4. Eryka Badu
5. D'Angelo
6. Maceo Parker
7. Jill Scott
8. Angie Stone
9. Meshell N'degeochello (provided that she plays her earlier works)
10. Amp Fiddler
11. Bootsy Collins - Parliament Funkadelics
12. Floetry
13. Sly and the Family Stone

...

anyone wants to fund me for my festival?

Do M.A.L.E. Models

Social Scientist do MALE(Multi-variate Analysis of Linear Equations) models better than others.

-
well not really Economists do them as well.