Dads

"So you have a couple of drinks, fight about politics... and then you take it personally when he doesn't agree with you... that is called having a dad."

- Liz Lemmon, from 30 Rock

Ridiculous biblical quote concerning love&sex

The bible condemns much more than same sex couples.

Here are some examples

"A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed."

-* DEUTERONOMY 22:13-21

"If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman."

* DEUTERONOMY 22:22

Divorce is strictly forbidden in both Testaments, as is remarriage of anyone who has been divorced.* MARK 10:1-12

The Bible forbids a married couple from having sexual intercourse during a woman's period. If they disobey, both shall be executed.

"Never have sexual intercourse with a woman while she is unclean during her monthly period."

* LEVITICUS 18:19

If a man dies childless, his widow is ordered by biblical law to have intercourse with each of his brothers in turn until she bears her deceased husband a male heir.

"Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother."

* MARK 12:18-27

"If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity."

* DEUTERONOMY 25:11-12

... and you still want to ban same sex marriage? why not trying to ban law allowing divorces and try to make a law trying to ban sex during menstruation????

my life's worth in numbers

So, the university is now setting up a new way of quantifying one's output research wise. The formula is
weight of publication*length/number of authors

although it is not as simple.
anyhow so yours truly calculated my own number
and during the past 7 years or so of publications(from 2003-), my number is 7.4 ... so like 1 point per year. this number has no relevance until you compare it to what the university is expecting their researchers to produce per year == 12 points.

which means... I have to do 12 times better than what I've done before...

shijsh! - as my Croatian friend would say

Review: Push - by Sapphire

This book is a very quick read. The book is the original the movie "Precious" is based on.

Unlike the movie, there is no lighter skinned african americans that behave, dress and look more like the white-middle class that save our heroine. No, rather it is the dark dreads wearing aggressive lesbian that saves the day. In that respect and others, the book is much more raw and direct and also much more aggressive... towards society that is divided by race. The rawness of the book is what really got to me, although I must say the story is abit overwhelming - although throughout the book the author does not allow you to look at Precious jones in any patronizing sympathetic way. She is a fighter, and she does not want you to be sad for her, she wants you to be mad for her.

I give it a 4-4.5 star.(out of five)

The imagery game....

this is how we did it ol'skool style

So, as some of you may know, yours truly is getting hitched in Seoul soon, and I've found out a lot of about Korea(ns) in the past few days while I was preparing for stuff. First of all, I must say ALL weddings cost alot of money. The extent to which Koreans spend it, is a bit different from others, mostly due to the fact that they invite EVERYONE - here is a piece on the New York Times criticizing this. My cousin, for example, whose father has been working for the government and was then dealing with politics, had married another son of a politician, and they had 1000 + guests. Yes... 1000 PLUS. One of the ways they can have such extravagant weddings is that people do not give gifts to the bride and groom but rather money, which helps to pay for the food that they will be having at the wedding. The reason there are so many people invited to weddings in Korea, is due to the fact that in Korea weddings are not an affair of the bride and groom, but rather an affair of the parents. It is a show of power, or more like a competition of show of power(from the bride and groom's fathers) by having more guests than the other person. Thus, 1000 is easily done by those who are affiliated to this and that group. Ofcourse, this custom of inviting everyone you know actually stems from the old Korea culture, when weddings and funerals were not of an private affair but rather a community affair. This was ofcourse back in those times when extended families with the same last names lived in a closed community.

People did not expect invitations due to that you could just show up for the festivities without one, due to the fact that it was an open invitation to all. And there was even a little parade around the whole village with the groom in the front riding a donkey or a horse, a group of musicians playing pungmul, and the bride in a hand carried carriage, and the families, which was done to make sure everyone in the village knew what was going on. They would then head off to the big house of the neighbourhood- the family - with a garden (or the bride/groom's house?) where people were served with rather simple foods- noodles and pancakes and loads of drinks... a bit of chicken or other types of meat if they were lucky, and the families were rich enough. Thus, it was alright to invite everyone.

-Here comes the bride and groom..

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Things are abit different these days. First of all, practically no one does traditional weddings, with the exception of those who get married to foreigners. But on top of that, the (pre-)wedding issues are an example of the predominant culture of artificiality and extravagance/materialism that exists in current society. I will not use all the space to explain the complicated customs a Korean wedding entail, including presents that is passed to the bride and groom's extended families. But more, I would like to talk about the photo/video taking culture of Korean weddings. Asians are stereotyped as photo-loving beasts, although I must say there are as many of them out there here in Europe or in the US, but it just caught up much later than in fast-speed developing Asian countries. However, what you still don't have is this studio photo taking culture... well not yet.

Anyhow, in Korea it is customary to take what is called a "rehearsal photo" - which is a studio photo shoot, in addition to having a photographer follow you around the whole day of the wedding to take photos of your wedding day, and ofcourse what we call the commemoration photo(where everyone who has been to the wedding take somewhat of a evidence photo). What surprised me is several things.
Firstly, the incredible expense. If you do both studio and wedding photo shoots, you need make up and hair done for both days, and you need to have several types of wedding dresses as well as other evening gowns etc. Now forgetting about the real wedding gown you will wear on the big day, you need to borrow the dresses for the photo shoot(which from my friends' experiences is about 3-6 gowns), this will cost about - that is makeup, hair, dresses, photo shoots,= 5,000,000won=3,200 euros. and yes this price actually is JUST for the photos!! Also, you will need a video shoot, starting from approximately 1,250,000 =800 euros if you want a video of the wedding day, and of the studio photo shoot day. In conclusion, that is 4000 euros just so you have pretty memories of your wedding.

Now this can be okay, to say that, if you have money, and as we say in Korea you if money is "attacking you"(cuz you have too much of it), or you can't stand the stink of money rotting, do what ever. Even if it is the case that, we are talking about a country where the average GDP per capita is about 28,000 dollar=20,000 euros, which means that you blow like 1/5th of your year's income on photos and videos.well 1/10 if you think you divide that among the two of you.and did I mention about 21% of its population lives under the poverty line- of 60% of the national medium wage AFTER benefits and taxes.(OECD average is about 17% and its much lower for EU-15).SOURCE

The bigger problem I have is how fake everything looks. Or more so, how it looks, to me atleast, some sort of struggle to look like something from TV and movies.

an example of "rehearsal photo" - your dream to be a the princess for a day comes true.

- "ah the sweet fake memories of being in make-believe land wearing a big white dress.."

As you can see from the photos, they make up scenes of being outside, or in some fancy European city - wearing a big white dress and a tux. and I am thinking.. really? Why? don't you rather use that money to go to that place and really take photos of it? no... cuz it won't look as pretty. What the studios offer is a fake reality, of you being the princess and the price, or in real terms, rich no need to work aristocrats who have photographers following them around to record every second.

"remember the fake house and the fake fight we had?? - oh yeah.. it was during those time I keep wearing white big dresses and you a tux.... what happened to our Tom Ford book btw?"

The same goes for the videos made... which is done only through the fake imagery of rich European society that the wedding ceremony places make.
Anyhow... the important question.. why?? Why do people do that?
Well the very direct answer would be that, because everyone does it, and it has become somehow a norm to do so. And one does not question the group norm in Korea. The other direct answer is that, well you get nice pretty photos... not minding that they are not really you, because nothing in there... even your face, is not real...due to the make up that literally makes everyone looks the same.
But really why?? I believe it is because that imagery, however fake it is, and however unreal it looks, it shows somehow, to others but also to yourself, a image of the good life one only dreams of having. The luxurious lifestyle where one dresses all the time in evening gowns and goes to fancy European cities, and is happy (and pretty- with good hair day) all the time. Even if it is fake, somehow that image makes one believe, that one is happy, or atleast did one's best to show to others that they are somewhat of the rich and famous. If not, at least not worse off than others. And that ... that alone is worth 1/5 of your yearly income...

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postscript: I've just talked to a friend in the states(US), and she says how the same thing is now becoming popular there. Also, in Russia it is in fashion to pack your wedding dresses and tuxs and fly over to Egypt to take your wedding photos in front of the Sphinx or the piramids.

Korea feminism- just 20 years behind England?

I just read an article from Lynn Barber in which she talks about feminism in England back in the day, or more so how it was living in the 60s and 70s as a female. Her stories are dangerously similar to what I've experienced also as a young teenage girl in Seoul, not in the 60s but in the 90s.
This similarity concerns the role of women, girls, how to understand relationships, the misconceptions of sex or how women should deal with it etc.
It makes me think, maybe Korea is culturally - atleast in the feminist sense, 20 years behind. I was wondering if it reflects the national economic growth - or growth in capitalism. In actuality, korea is now quite advanced economically and well culturally, am not sure what to say since I am not there now and it changes very quickly.

Lynn Barber is a contributor for the Guardian and is the author of the biography "An Education" which will be out in theatres soon as a movie.

review: Whatever works

This is a movie about Woody Allen - as it is in all Woody Allen's movies - where he draws out his fantasy about Scarlett Johansson. The story goes, where a young simple minded blond girl ran away from home, a old Woody Allen type neurotic person (but a physics genius with a 200IQ) finds her in behind the dumpster, and is kind enough to put her up for a month or so. She develops feelings for him (ofcourse) and he resists, but the old man ends up marrying the young blond- ofcourse through her request. There is even the introduction of Justin Timberlake character- whom she dates once and finds boring...quote "he lacks everything!"

I mean in the beginning of the movie, there is even a straight forward mentioning of how he thought "Scarlett" had sexual power- although here the Scarlett referred to the Gone with the wind heroine.

but i mean it's too blatantly clear what he is trying to say with this movie, its even embarrassing for the audience to watch...

True depictions of relationships

The older I grow and the longer I stay my relationship, I realise that of all depictions of relationships I've seen in TV and movies, the most realistic ones are the ones shown in The Simpsons and Family Guy...

review: Californication

Okay. I am sick, and I am very shy and embarrassed to admit what it is, since I am afraid people will start avoiding and start de-friending me when they find out. But I will say no more and leave you with this picture.

Now, I have been sick for the past three days, and am at the phase where I am not yet capable of tending to daily activities, which usually consists of sitting in front of the computer writing and reading, but have to resort to less stressful activities, such as sitting in front of the computer watching videos and writing about them. Actually as I am writing this my brain is sending out electric shocks just to stop me from doing any advanced activities, this also happened when I was watching Ze Frank videos (arg... too intellectual makes my head go oouui.. no that's not french for yes, but ouch in a more sissy manner).

Thus I have started watching Californication, why? because Southpark is putting its commercial on every other second. It is with that X-files guy that keeps going "I believe" or what not, and this girl who I was sooo sure was KT tunstall, but isn't.

Anyhoo in summary this show is like Entourage but in middle age folks in side it, and well not so many entourages... just the one. But other wise, the same. The main character gets laid everytime, and they find one way or another to get as much BBCT- Big boob coverage time- in the show as much as possible. The guys not necessarily my type of guys, seem to know where to find their next lay.. wait hold on, its more like the girls just can't get enough of them.

In more detail, the guy is not a actor, but a writer- the mid age thing right? - and has a kid - with this women I think was a fling or sth, but I have no idea what's going on - she is living on the other side of the US. He seems to be this wild type "man-child" who is just pure simple minded -sex pussy sex. He gives "the right" complements and tries to pick up any chick in the 1km radius, as if that was his instinct or tick if you will. And despite the fact that he isn't all that, it seems to work for him. Actually, I had a friend like that, almost exactly like that,but he wasn't in California, he didn't succeed that often, and ended up with some unattractive chicks, I'll tell you that.

I think one way this guy - Moody- makes it work, is that he places himself in between real (gifted) even more crazy nut and the stiff guy who has a broom up his ass (see this episode), so you are not that wild but not that stiff.. a half and half if you will.

Overall, I think this show is meant for guys who are lonesome with low-self esteem, and haven't got laid since the Bush sr was in power, to try out all their fantasies in one show - fucking your subordinate, your superordinate aka boss, your boss's wife, your student(who also works as a stripper), school teacher, and also come home to your loving wife, who is atleast 4 time zones away (Yes, I think all the ladies in the show are required to sign an agreement that they will show their boobs at the drop of a hat)- but are too cheap to buy real proper porn. OR girls like me who's brain capacity has maxed out and need something to bitch about.

And lastly, no woman at the age of 40 should look like a bag of bones. YES I am talking to you Miss Embeth Davidtz! 40 should be a age of fullness.... but that's another story.