little miss cynical

I have always loved to watch romantic comedies/dramas.
For reasons that I myself was never, well almost never really that active in the dating scene, I needed to boost my hormone levels up by, no not by watching raw porn, but romantic comedies.
I don't know if you have noticed but if you empathize with the characters enough you will even get the rush of hormones in your system along with the characters in the movie.
Let's say it a cheaper way out of this hormone desert, rather getting the injection shots.
However corny they may be I really loved them.
The roll of fate meeting, the first initial period of suspicion and the first kiss, the fall out and the last moment when all is well again.
in my head I kept thinking, no that doesn't make sense, that can't happen, but within there probably was this little glimmering hope inside me that got persuaded towards the end that I myself, if I kept my hopes up with my eyes open that, will eventually be the main character. That I would also bump into a guy in a bookstore and at the first instant you realize that something great will happen. That I will be the girl who loves and is loved will all their might for some strange twist of fate and lives happily ever after the end sort of thing.

Now, I think really its all bollocks. I mean, don't get me wrong here, I don't think that there isn't love of any sort and that we all are fooling ourselves into believing the false image of love that has been practically jammed into our heads by media, story tales and lets not forget our parents or other people around us. That those who do fall in love are those who are more gullible, naieve or those that can easily be hypnotized to be in such practically brain impaired state. No.. I am not saying that. I am just saying the movies are going a bit too far. I think there is that very specific group of women for whom these movies are aiming for. These movies are made just to give them that injection of indirect romance hormones, but apparently the movie makes believe these women are quite shallow, naieve or inexperienced of the world's doings.. gullible.. etc. For me, when I see them even if I try to follow the plot and get into it.. these days I just feel like that this is not feasible, doesn't make any sense. OR more so I feel like, it never ain't going to be happily ever after, it will be like oh, they are okay for a month or two and when the hormones wear off and the sex gets to familiar they will get a cold shower of reality and wake up from fantasy land. Or that the women inside these movies are abit too naieve... like girls... not like women.

For example, in the movie The Holiday I was just waiting for Jude Law to dump Cameron Diaz or for him to show up with some other woman.. naked in bed.. in other words, I was waiting for the disaster which actually never came till the end. Nothing. nada.. nil..

You might think that oh, its because I am damaged and wounded that I mirror my sorrows on to the movie, and I say, well never had that happen to me before as well. So I am not spiteful because of my gloomy experiences. So shut it. What I meant to say is that these movies go too far these days. Come on women are not teenage girls.. although now that I think about it, maybe romance comedies are for teenage girls and I'm just browsing in the wrong section. Or maybe I am a bit too cynical.

Which I have to admit, does get better- and I am not just saying myself but other women I've seen as well- that we do loose our cynical edge when we find someone who gives us that tingly feeling inside our stomaches... which kinda is incompatible cynical thoughts- atleast cynicalism on love that is. However, if that doesn't happen, I will sustain my position in the cynicality line of reasoning.