Friday, June 30, 2006

Dutch Culture 101 - Individualism and the art of "leaving eachother alone"

Many people believe that the Dutch are quite liberal in their ways, thus the legalization of marijuana prostitution, Amsterdam being the gay capital of Europe.

The reality is that the Dutch are not liberal in their ways, and are as stubborn and conservative as its neighbours and maybe even more so. Women conceal their bra straps in the street and still women take care of the children most of the time in the Netherlands. They also have prejudiced images of foreigners and are not afraid of saying that will be perceived of being somewhat racist. Such as “Yeah, Aldi is a cheapy store, you can see all of the Muslims there.” You can also see this from the Zwart Piets which are white men that colour their faces in black coal portraying the black slaves that were shipped over from North Africa in the past. They think this is "funny" as they dress these Piets in funny clothing and make them act very silly, degrading in contrast to the calm polite white man in a white robe who is their owner and Sinter Klaas. BTW Dutch society is completely segregated and it is as if there are several separate societies that do not meet even down the generations.

The actual truth is that the Dutch are complete individualists. They are completely into their own worlds and try not to invade other's privacy. This can be a good thing, if not invading other's privacy consist of being considerate of others around you so you don’t bother them. This is not the case in the Netherlands. People will bump into you without excusing themselves, they will talk very loud in trains and other public transportations, people who are supposed to provide you with service will be very rude, neighbours will turn on loud music which will blow your ear drums out till which ever hour they wish to.
Their not invading others privacy is that nobody goes up to any of them to tell them this is wrong or inconsiderate. This is also why this country is infamous for having the most dog dung in pavements and parks for dog owners refuse to do hold any compassion for others who will eventually step on them. I think this is also why they are so direct, in bad ways as well as good, for they forget how it feels on the other side. So most of the time, they will not point out something being inconsiderate, but will just so the same thing or something of the sort themselves.
On the other hand, invasion of one’s privacy is considered very impolite or just plain “wrong.” For example, they will consider asking someone for drinks or for dinner in less than two weeks notice will be a breach of privacy because they are invading one’s freedom to have other plans. You should always ask two, three weeks in advance. Also probably it will be considered rude to go up to a person who has his headphones on too loud in the morning commuter’s train, for it is that person’s own liberty even if it is harming others privacy. Actually I was shouted at due to the fact that I pointed out to my neighbour who had played loud Dutch folk music outside for the past two months from 10 AM till 10 ~11 PM that was so loud that you can hear it clearly even with the windows tightly shut. When I went over to their house to ask if they could possibly put it down, because I was sick and it was giving me headaches because of the drums, and then they criticized me saying “We’ve lived here for 30 years and nobody has said anything and you come and say something about my music?” It offended them that this foreigner from nowhere came over and invaded their privacy. I wasn’t going to back down. I told them that I was sick and would really appreciate it if they could just lower the sound down a bit so that we “all can live”(I emphasized this bit). They looked at me as if I was strange and keep emphasizing the fact that they lived there for 30 years and I was the only person who gave them problems. I gave them problems. At the end, they didn’t lower their music one bit even after my two visits. They also own dogs which bark throughout the night.
Of course, they are not wrong per se, it is just that they have different principles, and it is VERY different from anywhere else I’ve lived and other places in general. Whichever the case, Dutch individualism should not be confused with liberalism… and as they say here to foreigners who complain, “If you don’t like it emigrate!”
Maybe that is my only solution.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Where the hell is Matt?

I have rediscovered You Tube..
This is all thanks to Hwa who sends me a clip atleast once everyother day, which makes me search for more stuff on the site to cure my boredom.

One of the things I've managed to dig up for myself is this clip called "Where the hell is Matt?"
This is a video clip a guy made of himself dancing which you can easily find anywhere.. the only thing is he has done this throughout 39 countries.
It includes probably many, not all, of the cities he has visited during his trip I think has started around 2005 and 2006.. 6 months 39 countries and 7 continents.



It is quite funny due to his dancing which is quite cute in a way but also due to the little situations he put himself into while filming.. like in the mist of children and animals.. you have to see it for yourself.
It is quite inspiring and he seems soo free.. in his own ways.


It reminded me of how I used to love traveling and the feeling of being released from your own captivity when I was traveling.. this is when I was backpacking through Europe in 2002 for 2 1/2 months.
I feel like I am too old, too busy and maybe not enthusiastic enough to do this again.. and then I feel maybe I have already become "that adult" that I tried as hard as possible not to become..
The adult who is more concerned about their sofas and furniture income and cheap gas bills.. to think about life what I want and how I want to live not as a exterior but as a person.. as a coreself. Anyways time to stop and rethink.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Dear Ciggy

I have decided to stop smoking now.
its because I have not been able to smoke due to my illness for the past two weeks or so, and because most withdrawl symtoms only last for two weeks or so....
I think I got rid of the bad bit already and thought, well if I came this far might as well see what will happen!
So there is only a couple of more weeks to go and then I will be almost an certified non smoker again!

Because I have been a smoker since, what.. 1994, well a serious one since 1996, it is hard..
It is like loosing a friend or something, and of the many of things I've managed to google up during my past couple of weeks about smoking and withdrawl symtoms, I've found a letter addressed to Mr. Ciggy our love... A Dear John letter..
Its written by a women and it really shows exactly what I feel about this relationship I have with ciggy..which has been what.. more then 10 years!
I am sure lots of smokers will agree with me

http://quitsmoking.about.com/cs/nicotinelozenges/a/mydarling.htm

Friday, June 09, 2006

Stuart Jefferies

Yes, I am writing too many posts recently but you have to recognize that I am confined in my room all day - refer to the post "comes in threes" to see why - and have no human contact right now. So this is my way of interacting with the "real world"..

Stuart Jefferies, is an remarkable writer for the Guardian. He writes columns that deal with politics, society, art - book and movie reviews as well as interviews with people in the related fields.

Its not really what he writes but How he writes it that is amazing.
There is that hint of neurotic cynical humour he uses, with the interchange of words .. what can I say its magic.

[Example of his masterpiece] - From the Guardian June 2nd Edition..
"Earlier this year, the woman in my life and I decided to postpone our wedding. My partner - whom I will call Barry to confuse you into thinking we are a gay couple and thereby protect her anonymity - and I decided it wasn't worth it. As Barry and I are the sort of Guardian-reading types who not only grow their own alfalfa from politically correct Cuban seeds but weave the results into bicycles that we ride to work and then eat for lunch, we never really wanted to get married. (How do we get home from work you ask? Why, we grow alfalfa at the office too!) We preferred instead to knit each other eco-friendly shirts from each other's hair of an evening."

I think he is the perfect example of what I strive to write like, which is like 21st century Oscar Wilde with the intelligent connotations of Woody Allen's writing with a spice of social political awareness.. Would it be ever possible to write my dissertation in this language?
I know it will be much more easier to read the 200~300 odd pages full of jargon, if it was written atleast humoursly.

Militant Feminist Test

Here is something that you might find intriguing.
The militant feminist test.
http://www.spacefem.com/quizzes/militantfeminist/

I myself do not consider myself militant feminist, because I do not consider myself as being militant at all... whichever the case, because of the wording of the test was so funny I got 80%

Example)
When you see a man walking down the street, do you....
1) Smile and wave in hopes that he will ask you for your number or touch your butt.
2) Just keep walking. He's just a guy, what's wrong with that?
3) Walk on the other side of the street. If he's a man, then he's bad news.
4) Kick him in the groin, pour kerosene on him, and set him on fire.


the last choice for all questions entail "kerosene" and "fire" and "him" inside their sentences..

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Personality disorder

Of course most of us would take on a certain personality disorder, as if like taking a little hobby such as knitting, just to give ourselves a bit more character than the person next to you who is just plain and boring, we never really can diagnose which of the numerous disorders one can be defined in. Its like a wide arrange of cleaning liquids, where one is quite similar to another, and can have multiple purposes. One just cannot decide which one to take on!

So here to help us out is a little site which tells you exactly which of the disabilities you have in your mind.
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Of course, I must add that this site also has a banner which said "can't find love? click here" which just shows us the level of professionalism contained in this test.

My humble self have also taken this test just to see which illness can suit with my newly attained blue top.
Here are the top three...
No forget the three, that number was dealt in the last bit, so here is the first, the "The" disorder I am more or less bound to have.

Drum roll please!

.......

"Narcissism"

"Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. Narcissists tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them."

Haha… well so obvious but yet, hmm never thought of that one before!
I didn't even know that it was considered as a disease.. well here you go , this shows you the intensity of my ailing. Of course the only problem is it usually is combined with another disorder, which I can choose from either,

Paranoid or Schizotypal or Histrionic

"Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant. They usually shift blame to other people and tend to carry long grudges."

"Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow."

"People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. Histrionics also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative."

Well if you read these, it is obvious! I have all three!! - for those who know me personaly will be nodding with me about now... and all of them are related to eachother don't ya think??
but then again don't we all have abit of disorder here and there??
Come one, we are all kinda like the description above right?? Its not much a disorder but just a mere characteristic!

Ha! You're just disagreeing because you are either too ignorant to recognize it or....do..do you have... have something against me,?!?!? or you don't know me... get away.. I want to be alone!!!no.. noo.. look at me... ain't I preetty?? come on.. I wanna be centre of attention!!!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

comes in threes

I must have really gotten old, or it must be that I haven't adjusted to the new continental European environment..
Whichever the case, I think I am sick almost every other day .. more or less I've been sick the past month or in severe states the past couple of weeks.
First came the cramps, not knowing what the hell it was..
I've found out I had inflammation in my bladder, not to be all proud to say but I have to add this to prove a case. Then came the menstrual cramps, and on top of that came my first round of stomach aches probably from some lactose product I forgot not to eat. this in toll made me appreciate every single organ in my lower abdominal area... yes I know my anatomy now!

With this, I was in bed for a week and then came my friend and a couple of days in Amsterdam..

Due to the fact I live in a small conservative town which I found suffocating, I HAD to party, or at least try my best to.. which wasn't too much, compared to my ways when I was in my early 20s.

What I haven't realized was that I am not in the same physical state I was then, not half the state. So came the cold, and not just any cold the one that gives you a day to feel it sink in... you can feel it how it isn't there yet, but you know just know that it is coming, and its going to be something big, no huge! It is like as if the cold needs and introduction, a red carpet set up to show that "hey here I am..... I am not just your everyday cold, but the REAL thing, so look out!" and you're just hoping, because you felt it coming and drank the obligatory two litres of orange juice, that maybe, just maybe .. once in your pathetic life, that it might just well, go away. Something like, I have no idea what I can compare this to right now, but if you wish hard enough it will just magically disappear, like the acne before an important date or something, not that it happened to me and my acne free face, uh hum.

Well of course, it didn't. It came with a little bang, clogged nose, bang! swollen neck, bang! swollen eardrums, bang! fever, bang! headache, bang! of course with all colds, there is the muscle ache and the fatigue, and not the least the feeling of utter depression and feeling sorry for your pathetic soul which is in a bed covered with snot filled toilet paper, for you can not afford the soft lotioned kleenex, with a cold cup of tea you had to make for yourself, because no one cares enough to take care of you, and no your mum does not live with you any longer!

Of course, it had to be Sunday when the cold stepped in, and the next day, Monday had to be a public holiday which made me in a state with no food whatsoever and no place to buy food cuz all the freekin shops are closed due to the fact that this is a catholic side of the country. Seriously when I was talking about worker's right, this was not in my agenda.. I am having regrets about the whole thing now. Okay lets give workers rights, but come on we have to eat now don't we! So okay, workers rights with the exception of retail service sectors..or more specifically, those that have to do with supermarkets.. which will be filled in by poor college students who have nothing else to do.. it'll be an obligatory job.. how about that? whichever the case..

And for those of you who haven't noticed yet, yes this is a rant to prove how every body should feel sorry for my sorry ass.. if you haven't been persuaded yet, just keep on going, there is still more to come.

So anyways so I am here with my toilet roll and cup of tea and feeling sorry for myself, and then decided to add to my inner head pains why don't I add something more to top it up, like some whipped cream on a sundae or some cherries? so I bump my head into the cupboards apparently empty. which gave me the symmetrical pains on my head, the balance between the inner pain and the other pain, such as the yin yang thingy whateveryoucall it.
ok now I think this is it... I cannot have more pains coming my way.. right?
No.. of course not. On top of that we should add a sprinkle of food poisoning, which is from god know which of the several expired products I've managed to dig up in my shelf and resisted to throw out cuz well I can't afford to do that now can I?

And last but not least a little wisdom tooth or the swellings of a wisdom tooth on the back side of my mouth, just to show that, hey there is not an ending to this, and now even eating is painful.

yeah.. good things, or painful things come in threes... well not threes, but more like tens...
yeah yeah what is the aim of the whole story?? nothin, go figure it out yourself.... and
mind me, I'm sick.