Sunday, December 03, 2006

How to be Idle

I am reading this intriguing book written by Tom Hodgkinson entitled "How to be idle", a great lengthy essay on why we should be more idle. Hodgkinson also has a magazine in the UK devoted to this topic called, "The Idler" .

Whichever the case, there are some phrases in the book which are priceless.
I will jot some down, as I find them.

On Kellogg, the breakfast cereal founder.

"Kellogg himself, tellingly, was a puritanixal health-nut who never had sex(he preferred enemas). Such are the architects of our daily life."

Friday, December 01, 2006

Easy does not come into adult's life

That is the one phrase that stuck in my head after seeing the Hollywood style of trying to induce philosophical discussion movie "weather guy". Will not talk about the ins and outs of the movie.

Easy does not come into adults life.

I realize being an adult means that you are thrown into the real world. Real problems and real issues.
Its great for you are considered a responsible human being who can make judgements for yourself and respected, but the problems you face, for yourself and those around you sometimes gets too overwhelming.

Today I've got a double dose of it. In both ways though. As an adult was recognized by the network of people in my field as a proper researcher- at least I would like to think. On the other side, I've realized that two people I know have/had severe diseases which I will not name, the person nor the disease.

A phrase that pops into my mind is 'this is real'.. 'this is real'.. its no practice runs any longer nor are you secured by some sort of institutions. And the things you felt that will never happen to you, or is a far distant thing will come to you as well.

You feel completely exposed fragile to the world, without much protection or a net to fall back on. But the secret is if you keep your two feet on the ground, even if you fall, after awhile you do get stronger, and are able to endure so many more things to come, and believe you me, it will come, but then again you will live through it as well. And really some of the things you think you cannot endure, you can do and move on.

Also, I realized how little of life you can actually control. there are just some aspects that you cannot do anything about. It wouldn't do any good worrying about it or try your best to gain control- just hold back hold strong and try to enjoy the ride.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Dog

At the end of the day, after all the bullshitting and all the psuedo-intellectual mumbo jumbo about life, relationships between human being and society, I will consider myself more or less a dog like person.

I will sniff your hand and if I feel that you are friendly and nice to me, I will wag my tail and show you my belly- so you can rub it.
If I feel you distrust me, am scared of me or just don't like me, I will growl, mark my territory and/or just go along my way.

The only difference between me and dogs is that I am not as open and truthful as them... oh yeah, I also don't sniff other people's arses.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Car booty and cash in the attic

both shows are for selling things useless, or unused in the houses to gather money for some specific reason, such as a new bed, a holiday, a more charity type thing, or new hobby etc.
The difference is that car booty is based on more on rubbage that people have lying around, within lower income families, and the cash in the attic, which the two shows are shown back to back in late mornings in bbc, is more on real antiques, more than 100 years old things collectables.
Car booty sells things in a car booty sale, while as cash in the attic sells things in auctions. Car booty earns such as 200 to 500 pounds, while as the cash in the attic goes for 600 1000 pounds.
Another show which takes the two together is where the participants the red and blue team, goes and buy something at the car booty and then sells it, hopefully for a higher price at an auction!
Is this a representation of the segregation of class that is embedded in British societies? Maybe.

Monday, November 13, 2006

What not to eat: Fish

I have noticed that there is an increase of vegetarians around me. Most of them refuse to eat meat due to generic engineering of farm animals and the way they are treated in the farms and how they are slaughtered etc.
I also believe that if you think about the process the meat we have on our tables go through before it hits the supermarkets, its frightening to even think about what I am actually consuming - the hormones, bad energy and all.
Due to this many people choose to eat vegitables or fish.
Well, one thing most of us haven't noticed yet, is that alot of the fish we consume are also being dealt in similar ways as other animals. Also and maybe more importantly many of our fish and seafood will become extinct in the near future.

In early Nov. the headlines of USA today reads "90% of the ocean's edible species may be gone by 2048"
The Times also published an article with a similar heading "No more fish to eat in 40 years"

This come from several resons.
One reason is that we do consume alot of it without thinking about the consequences. Another very important reason is the way most fish are caught- industrial fishing- vacumming all sea life, and throwing away most of it other than the fish/seafood they need.(for example, when shrimp is caught 85% of what is actually caught is something else- in other words, 85% of other sealife is destroyed for 15% of shrimp)
Another reason is the destruction of coastal areas.

However its not all hopeless, nor am I saying we should go off fish altogether.
Its good to know what is happening in the world, and well choose your fish.
Here are a list of fish that you can eat, and you shouldn't eat- for the sake of the earth and future.

What not to eat
Atlantic Cod
Atlantic Halibut
Chilean seabass (Patagonian toothfish)
Dogfish
Dover Sole
European Hake
European Seabass
Grouper
Haddock
Marlin
Monkfish
Plaice
Salmon
Sharks
Skates & Rays
Snapper
Swordfish
Tropical Prawns
Tuna

source: Greenpeace what not to eat

Ok.. its alot of stuff... so I also give you what to eat(for UK)
What to eat(US)
In both sites you can find a nice guide you can print out for yourself and carry around

Also in the Netherlands
Goede vis gids


Yes its hard but as a bookstore in Edinburgh had wrote in their window "activism is the rent we pay for our time here".

Monday, November 06, 2006

voices and sounds

Apparently, human voices go through the wall much easier than music that come out from speakers.
So even if I feel that my voice is much smaller than the sound of the speakers, in the other room all you can hear is the voice.
it must have to do with vibration or somethin...
Or because your ears get used to the music easier than voices- where there is more disruptions.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Whores of Mensa

By far my favourite Woody Allen's essay - in his collection of essays "Without Feathers" - on pseudo-intellectual prostitution..
Its a depiction of a situation where men buy women/more like comparative literature grad students to debate on the literary works - yes some people do get their high like that- I choose more so the debate on music or socio-political issues for mine... but whichever the case

Here is a quote from the essay

"For three bills, you got the works: A thin Jewish brunette would pretend to pick you up at the Museum of Modern Art, let you read her master's, get you involved in a screaming quarrel at Elaine's over Freud's conception of women, and then fake a suicide of your choosing - the perfect evening, for some guys. Nice racket. Great town, New York."

for the whole essay
Whores of Mensa

혹시 여기 온 나의 한국 친구들에게

그래, 영어로 되어 있다...ㅋㅋ.
너무하다고? 그래도 이해해줘야해, 왜냐?! 왜냐면, 그래도 요즘 내가 주로 생활속에서 사용하는 언어가 영어니까, 요즘에는 영어로 글쓰는게 편하다... 그래서,
그래도 너희들 다 영어 잘 하자나 그치? 최소한 다 읽을 수 있잖아. 그리고 아마 어느 언어로 자신을 표현하느냐에 따라 다른 자신들이 나오는데, 영어로 보다 진지해질 수 있는것 같기도 하고.. 모르겠다.
하여튼 여기 종종 오면, 내가 요즘 무슨 고민하고, 무슨 생각하면서 사는지 알 수 있을것임.
이렇게 말하니까 또 쑥스럽군.
원래는 그냥 아무도 모르는 나 혼자만의 공간으로 만들라고 하다가, 그래도 아느 사람들, 그리고 궁굼한 사람들이 내가 도데체 요즘 무슨 생각하고 사는지 알리는것이 굳이 나쁘지만은 않다는 생각이 들어서.. 그리고 사실 직접 전달하기는 어렵지만, 이렇게 보다 간접적으로 적어놓으면 전달되기 쉽지 않을까 생각이 든다.

하여튼... 어쨋던간에 방가.

On Reading

Every novel is an equal collaboration between the writer and the reader and it is the only place in the world where two strangers can meet on terms of absolute intimacy.

- Paul Auster



I Want to Tell You a Story

On being bothered and being a bigger person

I think in most societies, it is considered a good thing to be a "bigger person" no not tall and heavy buff, but like a big person who cuts people alot of slack and have lots of patience and endurance and the sort. On the other hand, people think bad when someone gets bothered about everything and make a fuss... Why can you be a bigger person, they will ask...

The reason this thought occurs to me right now, is because I am living with two girls and yes, they are getting on my nerves. They are nice and all, but yes they still do somethings that trigger off some nerve in my system and I get annoyed. However its seldom that I actually do and tell them or more so confront them with the things that they have done. This is because I think of saying something, and it just seem so minor that I feel like I will become the nagging bitchy type if I do say it.

most of it is not that big of a deal... its just that all these things add up... and I feel like bursting but just cannot, due to the fact that it makes me a nagging person which I do not want to be. Its like in the back of my head, a voice keeps saying "Hey that are minor things, a big person 大人 must not be botherred with things as such" but the thing is maybe I am not one of them! maybe I am just a really nagging controlling person! Ahh yes there it is I've said it! Ha!

But then again, I think again, I myself probably do somethings as disturbing as well, that I do not notice which is bothering my housemates in various degrees. who knows, because we're all trying to be big here...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Tips on how to work with others; write together or to co-authour papers together

They say - when I say they, I mean people in the academia fields but I think this can hold true for other fields of work - that once you work with someone else it is likely that you will become enemies. If you don't become enemies, then you or the other person is quite generous, acceptable and overall a VERY nice person - or just WEAK!
Whichever the case, working with people is probably one of the hardest thing to do, especially to those of us stubborn f*cks who do not like to "settle" for anything less, and think we are almost always right- unless proven otherwise- and even then its hard to admit to it.

While working with people, I realized that I can really be bitchy, seriously. Well, I do not go and shout obscene things to a person or make rude gestures, but on the contrary, I shut down, making a face- which I thought was just a plain face, but from others comments and a couple of photos of myself I realized was extremely intimidating and scary - which looks as if I am saying "F*ck off or I will kill you" - actually this is what one of my friends said it looks like, on a nice day. And up till now I thought I had a nice sleepy harmless face... well...

And then there is no negotiation... you have crossed the line... and it will be time since I ease out or you actually die.

whichever the case, I have done this again a couple of days ago, and realized this is not good... I must try to work with people, because this is really a reputation. HWA- not Hoes with Attitude but my friend hwa, had once told me how in the communication design Internet site design etc whatyoumacallit industry, because you always have to work with people, such as programmers and the sort, it is very important what kind of reputation you have, because even if you are good/well not great but good/ and have a bad reputation concerning working with other people, then you can't get far... because nobody will work with you.
Of course this might not be the case in Social Science, but still I do think it does make sense to make friends not enemies while working with people, cuz more and more the consensus is that you have to work with people, to various degrees - co-authouring articles, writing books together, being in the same research network etc. it is all about networks these days.

Ok so here are some tips you can use when you have to work with people...
there are some strategies you can choose from.

One is to become extremely passive- do whatever the other person(s) tell you to do... this is hard because it is your baby- the paper/project I mean and you just cannot let it go that easily... but if you can, this is a good idea, and if there are problems and if you can't get into a journal just blame the other person.

Second is to own the project from day one, make sure that you are in charge and make sure the other person knows it too,(in other words, make them yo biatch) so in other words making the other person the first example.

Third, when both don't work is trying to find a dividing point, so for example, chapter 1,2 is yours and 3 and 4 is the other person- or divided by tasks or is more or less independent from one another, although you give each other comments - but just constructive criticism.. not more not less - you need not have to make decisions together.

If this is not the case, another good way to tackle this problem is not to have face to face conflicts but work via internet-e-mails. (using track changes mode) This is good in the sense that you do not have direct interaction with the person, thus you have lesser chances of strangling the person to death because you get frustrated talking to an ignorant wall.

Another good tip is do not write with a person who you are shagging.. this will bring problems in every direction possibly imaginable.

But I have to admit, co-authoured work can develop quite quickly and can result to better quality work, because you get good/quick comments about things easily. However it can lead to end of good friendship extreme stress cancer cells murder and imprisonment.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Craig Ferguson "70s Scottish Porn"

I really like comedians...
Strangely even since I was little, I just could not resist a funny man... it automatically make me want ... the guy.
I also love scottish and irish guys.. their sense of humour added with a sprinkle of a strong accent... ahhhh (seriously, one of the biggest reason for me to go back is because of the Scottish lads... really)
Well in CBS there is this guy who is these two combined.. his name is Craig Ferguson.. a scottish lad, from glasgow... ahhh...glasgow...who came over to the US when he was 21.. now at 44 he has finally made it in the business with his own show- "the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" after david letterman...
He is right now on a roll I think
he is just soo funny- I have the feeling that I would want to impregnate myself with his seed - check out my previous blog about John Cleese.. this happens sometimes.. hehe

Anyways here is a segment of his stuff hilarious- this one is on 70s Scottish Porn..

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Free Hug Campaign

This is a story of a guy who started giving free hugs to people, I've heard in Australia - to pass on the love.. I guess.

The writing with the video reads---------------------------------------------
Sometimes, a hug is all what we need. Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whos sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.
In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.
As this symbol of human hope spread accross the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.




After watching this, which was approximately a month ago or something, I was inspired deeply and decided to do this myself, but not to strangers but to my friends. To give my friends hugs whenever I meet them.
The only problem is that because we are not used to doing this, I myself was uneasy about when to give the hugs and how, and the persons being hugged themselves sometimes did not know how to properly hug, they felt like stiff logs.
As if you couldn't go through to them no matter what.. it felt like I could feel their walls or something. Also I think some people thought hugs should be reserved for the few... real occassions.

Afterwards, I've returned to the three times kissing on the cheeks or handshakes or nothings/niks- and hugs just for the rare moments when it is needed... such as meeting my friends who I haven't met for a long time, or when someone needs to be lifted up emotionally... or when I felt a connection with someone. To add on the physical side to the emotional side, its nice to have a "heart to heart"...

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

your true self

One of the questions, that I am asked often or other people are asked is " what do you find attractive in a guy/girl" or "what do you look for in a guy/girl"...

and the answer differs, depending on your age, on what stage of life your in, on your past relationship - definately this, because if you had a bad relationship, you try to avoid some types of characteristics (or just signs of certain characteristics) and/or try to find something that wasn't there ... ect.

These days, maybe its because I've grown up or maybe its because I am exhausted from the petty relationships I 've experienced... but I think the most important thing you must look for is, if you can be comfortable in front of that person... if you can show your naked self - not physically, well that too but more importantly mentally- in front of that person, just fragile and all vunerable, and do not care about it, no feel confortable doing it or having the feeling you want to do so.

If you can do that... than that is the person for you.

the thing is that, when I was trying to look for a good looking guy, that was easy...
when I was trying to find a guy that was highly educated and had exciting thoughts, that was also easy, well not as easy but possible...
but to find someone who can really see you through all the bull shit all the superficial cover up all the walls that surround you.... that is difficult...
it is almost impossible.

One of the reasons for this I guess is because, I myself do not know what my true self is...

But when you've found that person, and you know this, you shouldn't let him/her go... the only problem is that when you have it and had it for some time, you sometimes forget the value of what you are holding and tend to let it go for other unimportant things.

Monday, October 23, 2006

WORK virus

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to your friends. If you do not have friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.






Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Google Error

Yes it has actually happened...
God of the 21st century our Big Brother, Almighty itself

GOOGLE HAD AN ERROR IN THEIR SERVER!!!!











First of all, I was quite surprised, I suspect it was a hacker in action, I seize to believe that there was actually a server error due to their mistakes, no that just cannot happen.

However I have to admit to the fact that it is becoming more scarier and scarier due to the fact that now google owns EVERYTHING... on the net that is..

When it bought You Tube, that was it, that was the signal when we realize we must hail Google and must worship it, because it will soon own you.
But seriously, I am a big fan... am a believer...

In google we trust.
but we should beware of things to happen, maybe it will become the big brother who is watching you.

On Happiness and existential questions

"Another thought occurs: perhaps happiness is in inverse relationship to intelligence. In our first and second childhoods, we are tolerably happy, but intellectually challenged; only in the middle of our lives are we clever enough to realise that life is utterly meaningless, directed towards death and that the unlikelihood of an afterlife means that we have no rational justification for turning that existential frown upside down?" Stuart Jefferies.

Like this it might be that we are faced with the existential questions around the time where it seems to be more or less you should be happy with the certain condition you are under or have achieved (so hard to get even).. such as a proper job, a stable marriage or a suitable partner, house etc are secured. Ofcourse it does not mean that you do not question your existence and the "meaning of life" when you are not secured.
Whichever the case, it just is that some of us, will not let ourselves alone and face the question of life, "what is it I am doing?", "what is my life my goal?" and the sort, even when the more major things in life has been satisfied. Or atleast the most premitive needs...
Of course there are some of us who are forever unhappy due to the pure fact that they compare their situations with others, who have abit more of something then us... whatever that may be. And then there are those who are forever searching for another step. That is, after you build a foundation, you need steady pillars and then right walls, the a good ceiling and paint, furniture...

It can be good if this is a positive stress, to further yourself in life, to have something to put your energy towards in your life.
It can be a bad thing, if you are insatiable and always unhappy with whatever that is given to you.

Then again, its one thing to want something and another to question the things you have right now or the situation you are in... such as examining the relationship you have right now, it is related in the sense that when you question, alot of the time you can be unsatisfied with your situation and want better things.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Can I get any service around here??!!

Ok, I know it is always good to generalize with the few experience you have, but seriously, based not only on my experience but those of people around me, the Dutch really have to look up the word "service" in their dictionary.

People who are working in the "services sector" have no idea what they are getting paid for around here.
Just a few things you must remember about services in the Netherlands.

Firstly, you must serve them, they own you, not the other way around.
When I started working in the research institute, I have asked our secretary to provide me with a key, a desk and asked her to get some stuff for me.
Of course not only did she not get them, she did not even reply to my request. I was talking to a wall. It was clear that she was not there to help me at all. I had to get everything I needed myself.
I was told later that she is an "office manager" and you have to serve her as a superior to get ANYTHING done.

Secondly, do not think they will be courteous or just plain nice.
I have heard so many times how foreigners got offended by someone at the counter or someone who were supposed to serve them. I myself as well. I had my bank guy smash his fist on the table and shout, because the central computer system was down and he decided I was the closest thing he can set his anger upon. My friend was told to "fuck off" by a shop clerk in Albert Heijn, the biggest supermarket chain in the Netherlands, just because she asked her if she can use her air miles and why not. She asked for the manager, and the manager had told my friend, that their clerk was having a bad day so she should understand this, and ofcourse go fuck off.

I was also snickered at because I had stood in line without getting served for ten minutes(there were three lines that one person had to serve and she kept forgetting our line for the fourth time)even if I was the first in line, and asked if I can get one beer. She literally threw it at me.
Today I got a phone call from the services sector of an airline, low grumpy voice asking me to give them a new credit card number because the one I gave them didn't fall through. After I told them I don't feel too comfortable giving it out on a phone, especially because I cannot be sure if it is the actual airline, she yelled "then go and cancel the flight!". I asked if there was any other way, she told me there wasn't. I later found out, all I needed to do really was to call my bank and ask them if the charges have been made and let them make it, by topping up my credit.
A guy in a shop just turned his back towards me waving me off like a fly because I wanted batteries and he didn't have.
Should I go on? no.. there is just too much.

Thirdly, don't expect them to give you information, and even if they give it to you, don't trust it. Most of them will not even bother to give you the information, such as my secretary who has kindly not told me anything about the frindge benefits I can get at the institute even with serveral requests because she just cannot be bothered withit.
I also ended up paying 40 euros for my phone connection, when I have specifically asked the guy who was signing us up if there was that connection fee, and he said no. I asked again, saying I've heard from people that there was a fee, he told me again and again there wasn't.. well there goes my 40 euros.
Also I have asked if I can get a refund for a train ticket I didn't use and wanted to get refunded. I asked if I can get a refund for the tickets, showing her the ticket, and the person behind the information counter said yes, and gave me a form. Later on, I found out I couldn't. I think they just answer you yes or no, because they don't want to go in detail about it. Its something like "let's just give the foreigner a short reply.. Don't' matter if it is right or wrong".

For similar reasons I was sent back and forth to different cities when I was trying to get my visa, cuz people just didn't tell me exactly where I needed to go, or what process I needed to go through, but kept sending me to another person, in another city which is atleast an hour by train and bus, who tells me I was supposed to be in another place another city to get what I needed, ofcourse this is after waiting for an hour to talk to this person.

Also it takes them forever to do things. My friend had something wrong with her laptop. She asked to get it repaired - had warranty on it. They took it a couple of weeks after she had requested it, took it for a couple of months just to tell her that they do not have the part that they need to fix it and that they will send it back after three weeks. Great.

If you call the 0900 service lines, they will hang up on you....After making you wait 30 minutes. Had that happen several times. First they pick up, after hearing "alles onze medewerkers zijn in gesprek een ogenblijk alsublief".. which means, all our workers are busy, one moment please... for about 10~20minutes (which the call cost 30 euro cents per minute on top of the normal fee). And then when you start talking in English, they pretend to forward the call to someone, and then you wait again for another 10 minutes or so, and then you hear the sound of the phone being disconnected... Happened so many times, not only to me but others.. am so used to it that everytime I speak to someone, I plea to them not to hang up on me.

There are other things, but I think I have made myself clear. Should I go on further?
HOwever, I have talked to my Dutch friend about this, and was told that it is not because of the fact that I was a foreigner, they are like that to everyone. So here is another cultural SHOCK.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Life as a non-smoker

Ok.. its now been 6 weeks since my last cigarette.
It has been good and all but it had to go.
Well actually I've only stopped smoking cuz I was sick for two weeks and couldn't smoke and thought, well if I lasted this long, maybe I can go further.
Also I wanted to know how much of the anxiety and nervousness was actually due to nicotine withdrawal symtoms.
Whichever the case, it was hard in the beginning, especially because you feel like you've lost a big part of yourself.
Smoking is not just a habit, it is a culture!
You have "smoking buddies" "smoker's jokes" all the gimmicks that has to do with smoking, the way you hold your ciggy to the way you blow out your smoke.
It takes time and effort to get it just right. To make smoking your own. To Own it.
Well.. to loose that, that culture that "coolness" those "buddies"... the one thing that had stuck with you all throughout your past ten years, the good times and bad..It was like you main support system and your companion when you're alone.
In other words you go through not only the physical withdrawls but the emotional and psychological.

But I've managed and now feel like "a non smoker" which is strange because I have always been not too keen on non smokers and non drinkers. Its like you hate couples when you're single and then you have a girl/boy friend and you feel like you've crossed the line. Because I am quite a loyal person, it feels like I have betrayed my smokers' group. My society, my people.

Well not completely. My familiarity and amiability towards my smokers are still there. I am not and will not be one of those people who will fan the air with their hands when smokes come their way, I will gladly inhale my serving of second hand smoke. I will not tell smokers that it is bad for them, on the contrary I had hell of a time during my withdrawal period, so I suggest they don't quit until they really want to torture themselves. I don't think smoking is disgusting or bad (okay I must admit that after I stopped smoking I've realized all my clothes don't stink any more)nor should smokers be casted out of society.

Let's just say I have become a non practicing smoker. But my heart is still you y'all.

Monday, July 10, 2006

EF flexicurity blog

Its amazing how the more "Beaurocratic-ish" organizations adapt to the current changes of the world.. media world more or less.
Whichever the case, The European Foundation for the Improvement of Living and Working Condition ( yes this is one name), which is a policy generator/research group for the European Commission (who I am currently working for as a contractor for two projects), has made their own blog.
Well not their blog, but one on flexicurity.

They publish some interesting articles on flexibility and security, which in other words is flexicurity. Its worth checking out, that is if you are interested in this topic.. which I know there are only a handfull of us IN THE WORLD...

http://flexicurity.blogspot.com

your's truely's paper is also up on the web.. god know how, but still.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Dutch Culture 101 - Individualism and the art of "leaving eachother alone"

Many people believe that the Dutch are quite liberal in their ways, thus the legalization of marijuana prostitution, Amsterdam being the gay capital of Europe.

The reality is that the Dutch are not liberal in their ways, and are as stubborn and conservative as its neighbours and maybe even more so. Women conceal their bra straps in the street and still women take care of the children most of the time in the Netherlands. They also have prejudiced images of foreigners and are not afraid of saying that will be perceived of being somewhat racist. Such as “Yeah, Aldi is a cheapy store, you can see all of the Muslims there.” You can also see this from the Zwart Piets which are white men that colour their faces in black coal portraying the black slaves that were shipped over from North Africa in the past. They think this is "funny" as they dress these Piets in funny clothing and make them act very silly, degrading in contrast to the calm polite white man in a white robe who is their owner and Sinter Klaas. BTW Dutch society is completely segregated and it is as if there are several separate societies that do not meet even down the generations.

The actual truth is that the Dutch are complete individualists. They are completely into their own worlds and try not to invade other's privacy. This can be a good thing, if not invading other's privacy consist of being considerate of others around you so you don’t bother them. This is not the case in the Netherlands. People will bump into you without excusing themselves, they will talk very loud in trains and other public transportations, people who are supposed to provide you with service will be very rude, neighbours will turn on loud music which will blow your ear drums out till which ever hour they wish to.
Their not invading others privacy is that nobody goes up to any of them to tell them this is wrong or inconsiderate. This is also why this country is infamous for having the most dog dung in pavements and parks for dog owners refuse to do hold any compassion for others who will eventually step on them. I think this is also why they are so direct, in bad ways as well as good, for they forget how it feels on the other side. So most of the time, they will not point out something being inconsiderate, but will just so the same thing or something of the sort themselves.
On the other hand, invasion of one’s privacy is considered very impolite or just plain “wrong.” For example, they will consider asking someone for drinks or for dinner in less than two weeks notice will be a breach of privacy because they are invading one’s freedom to have other plans. You should always ask two, three weeks in advance. Also probably it will be considered rude to go up to a person who has his headphones on too loud in the morning commuter’s train, for it is that person’s own liberty even if it is harming others privacy. Actually I was shouted at due to the fact that I pointed out to my neighbour who had played loud Dutch folk music outside for the past two months from 10 AM till 10 ~11 PM that was so loud that you can hear it clearly even with the windows tightly shut. When I went over to their house to ask if they could possibly put it down, because I was sick and it was giving me headaches because of the drums, and then they criticized me saying “We’ve lived here for 30 years and nobody has said anything and you come and say something about my music?” It offended them that this foreigner from nowhere came over and invaded their privacy. I wasn’t going to back down. I told them that I was sick and would really appreciate it if they could just lower the sound down a bit so that we “all can live”(I emphasized this bit). They looked at me as if I was strange and keep emphasizing the fact that they lived there for 30 years and I was the only person who gave them problems. I gave them problems. At the end, they didn’t lower their music one bit even after my two visits. They also own dogs which bark throughout the night.
Of course, they are not wrong per se, it is just that they have different principles, and it is VERY different from anywhere else I’ve lived and other places in general. Whichever the case, Dutch individualism should not be confused with liberalism… and as they say here to foreigners who complain, “If you don’t like it emigrate!”
Maybe that is my only solution.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Where the hell is Matt?

I have rediscovered You Tube..
This is all thanks to Hwa who sends me a clip atleast once everyother day, which makes me search for more stuff on the site to cure my boredom.

One of the things I've managed to dig up for myself is this clip called "Where the hell is Matt?"
This is a video clip a guy made of himself dancing which you can easily find anywhere.. the only thing is he has done this throughout 39 countries.
It includes probably many, not all, of the cities he has visited during his trip I think has started around 2005 and 2006.. 6 months 39 countries and 7 continents.



It is quite funny due to his dancing which is quite cute in a way but also due to the little situations he put himself into while filming.. like in the mist of children and animals.. you have to see it for yourself.
It is quite inspiring and he seems soo free.. in his own ways.


It reminded me of how I used to love traveling and the feeling of being released from your own captivity when I was traveling.. this is when I was backpacking through Europe in 2002 for 2 1/2 months.
I feel like I am too old, too busy and maybe not enthusiastic enough to do this again.. and then I feel maybe I have already become "that adult" that I tried as hard as possible not to become..
The adult who is more concerned about their sofas and furniture income and cheap gas bills.. to think about life what I want and how I want to live not as a exterior but as a person.. as a coreself. Anyways time to stop and rethink.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Dear Ciggy

I have decided to stop smoking now.
its because I have not been able to smoke due to my illness for the past two weeks or so, and because most withdrawl symtoms only last for two weeks or so....
I think I got rid of the bad bit already and thought, well if I came this far might as well see what will happen!
So there is only a couple of more weeks to go and then I will be almost an certified non smoker again!

Because I have been a smoker since, what.. 1994, well a serious one since 1996, it is hard..
It is like loosing a friend or something, and of the many of things I've managed to google up during my past couple of weeks about smoking and withdrawl symtoms, I've found a letter addressed to Mr. Ciggy our love... A Dear John letter..
Its written by a women and it really shows exactly what I feel about this relationship I have with ciggy..which has been what.. more then 10 years!
I am sure lots of smokers will agree with me

http://quitsmoking.about.com/cs/nicotinelozenges/a/mydarling.htm

Friday, June 09, 2006

Stuart Jefferies

Yes, I am writing too many posts recently but you have to recognize that I am confined in my room all day - refer to the post "comes in threes" to see why - and have no human contact right now. So this is my way of interacting with the "real world"..

Stuart Jefferies, is an remarkable writer for the Guardian. He writes columns that deal with politics, society, art - book and movie reviews as well as interviews with people in the related fields.

Its not really what he writes but How he writes it that is amazing.
There is that hint of neurotic cynical humour he uses, with the interchange of words .. what can I say its magic.

[Example of his masterpiece] - From the Guardian June 2nd Edition..
"Earlier this year, the woman in my life and I decided to postpone our wedding. My partner - whom I will call Barry to confuse you into thinking we are a gay couple and thereby protect her anonymity - and I decided it wasn't worth it. As Barry and I are the sort of Guardian-reading types who not only grow their own alfalfa from politically correct Cuban seeds but weave the results into bicycles that we ride to work and then eat for lunch, we never really wanted to get married. (How do we get home from work you ask? Why, we grow alfalfa at the office too!) We preferred instead to knit each other eco-friendly shirts from each other's hair of an evening."

I think he is the perfect example of what I strive to write like, which is like 21st century Oscar Wilde with the intelligent connotations of Woody Allen's writing with a spice of social political awareness.. Would it be ever possible to write my dissertation in this language?
I know it will be much more easier to read the 200~300 odd pages full of jargon, if it was written atleast humoursly.

Militant Feminist Test

Here is something that you might find intriguing.
The militant feminist test.
http://www.spacefem.com/quizzes/militantfeminist/

I myself do not consider myself militant feminist, because I do not consider myself as being militant at all... whichever the case, because of the wording of the test was so funny I got 80%

Example)
When you see a man walking down the street, do you....
1) Smile and wave in hopes that he will ask you for your number or touch your butt.
2) Just keep walking. He's just a guy, what's wrong with that?
3) Walk on the other side of the street. If he's a man, then he's bad news.
4) Kick him in the groin, pour kerosene on him, and set him on fire.


the last choice for all questions entail "kerosene" and "fire" and "him" inside their sentences..

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Personality disorder

Of course most of us would take on a certain personality disorder, as if like taking a little hobby such as knitting, just to give ourselves a bit more character than the person next to you who is just plain and boring, we never really can diagnose which of the numerous disorders one can be defined in. Its like a wide arrange of cleaning liquids, where one is quite similar to another, and can have multiple purposes. One just cannot decide which one to take on!

So here to help us out is a little site which tells you exactly which of the disabilities you have in your mind.
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Of course, I must add that this site also has a banner which said "can't find love? click here" which just shows us the level of professionalism contained in this test.

My humble self have also taken this test just to see which illness can suit with my newly attained blue top.
Here are the top three...
No forget the three, that number was dealt in the last bit, so here is the first, the "The" disorder I am more or less bound to have.

Drum roll please!

.......

"Narcissism"

"Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. Narcissists tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them."

Haha… well so obvious but yet, hmm never thought of that one before!
I didn't even know that it was considered as a disease.. well here you go , this shows you the intensity of my ailing. Of course the only problem is it usually is combined with another disorder, which I can choose from either,

Paranoid or Schizotypal or Histrionic

"Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant. They usually shift blame to other people and tend to carry long grudges."

"Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow."

"People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. Histrionics also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative."

Well if you read these, it is obvious! I have all three!! - for those who know me personaly will be nodding with me about now... and all of them are related to eachother don't ya think??
but then again don't we all have abit of disorder here and there??
Come one, we are all kinda like the description above right?? Its not much a disorder but just a mere characteristic!

Ha! You're just disagreeing because you are either too ignorant to recognize it or....do..do you have... have something against me,?!?!? or you don't know me... get away.. I want to be alone!!!no.. noo.. look at me... ain't I preetty?? come on.. I wanna be centre of attention!!!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

comes in threes

I must have really gotten old, or it must be that I haven't adjusted to the new continental European environment..
Whichever the case, I think I am sick almost every other day .. more or less I've been sick the past month or in severe states the past couple of weeks.
First came the cramps, not knowing what the hell it was..
I've found out I had inflammation in my bladder, not to be all proud to say but I have to add this to prove a case. Then came the menstrual cramps, and on top of that came my first round of stomach aches probably from some lactose product I forgot not to eat. this in toll made me appreciate every single organ in my lower abdominal area... yes I know my anatomy now!

With this, I was in bed for a week and then came my friend and a couple of days in Amsterdam..

Due to the fact I live in a small conservative town which I found suffocating, I HAD to party, or at least try my best to.. which wasn't too much, compared to my ways when I was in my early 20s.

What I haven't realized was that I am not in the same physical state I was then, not half the state. So came the cold, and not just any cold the one that gives you a day to feel it sink in... you can feel it how it isn't there yet, but you know just know that it is coming, and its going to be something big, no huge! It is like as if the cold needs and introduction, a red carpet set up to show that "hey here I am..... I am not just your everyday cold, but the REAL thing, so look out!" and you're just hoping, because you felt it coming and drank the obligatory two litres of orange juice, that maybe, just maybe .. once in your pathetic life, that it might just well, go away. Something like, I have no idea what I can compare this to right now, but if you wish hard enough it will just magically disappear, like the acne before an important date or something, not that it happened to me and my acne free face, uh hum.

Well of course, it didn't. It came with a little bang, clogged nose, bang! swollen neck, bang! swollen eardrums, bang! fever, bang! headache, bang! of course with all colds, there is the muscle ache and the fatigue, and not the least the feeling of utter depression and feeling sorry for your pathetic soul which is in a bed covered with snot filled toilet paper, for you can not afford the soft lotioned kleenex, with a cold cup of tea you had to make for yourself, because no one cares enough to take care of you, and no your mum does not live with you any longer!

Of course, it had to be Sunday when the cold stepped in, and the next day, Monday had to be a public holiday which made me in a state with no food whatsoever and no place to buy food cuz all the freekin shops are closed due to the fact that this is a catholic side of the country. Seriously when I was talking about worker's right, this was not in my agenda.. I am having regrets about the whole thing now. Okay lets give workers rights, but come on we have to eat now don't we! So okay, workers rights with the exception of retail service sectors..or more specifically, those that have to do with supermarkets.. which will be filled in by poor college students who have nothing else to do.. it'll be an obligatory job.. how about that? whichever the case..

And for those of you who haven't noticed yet, yes this is a rant to prove how every body should feel sorry for my sorry ass.. if you haven't been persuaded yet, just keep on going, there is still more to come.

So anyways so I am here with my toilet roll and cup of tea and feeling sorry for myself, and then decided to add to my inner head pains why don't I add something more to top it up, like some whipped cream on a sundae or some cherries? so I bump my head into the cupboards apparently empty. which gave me the symmetrical pains on my head, the balance between the inner pain and the other pain, such as the yin yang thingy whateveryoucall it.
ok now I think this is it... I cannot have more pains coming my way.. right?
No.. of course not. On top of that we should add a sprinkle of food poisoning, which is from god know which of the several expired products I've managed to dig up in my shelf and resisted to throw out cuz well I can't afford to do that now can I?

And last but not least a little wisdom tooth or the swellings of a wisdom tooth on the back side of my mouth, just to show that, hey there is not an ending to this, and now even eating is painful.

yeah.. good things, or painful things come in threes... well not threes, but more like tens...
yeah yeah what is the aim of the whole story?? nothin, go figure it out yourself.... and
mind me, I'm sick.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Knowledge is a disease

That is one of the old Korean sayings that more I see it seems true. Attaining knowledge does not only make you enlighted or smart it makes you suffer as well.
You might wonder where I'm trying to go with this. I'm not saying we should stay ignorant or thick, but just that in knowing there is the consequences of being depressed.. Let me elaborate.
I believe that most people consciously or unconsciously block out large portion of information out of their systems. Although we have the general idea about the starving children in Africa or South America, or the exploited worker in Pakistan, we do not go into detail about these issues, as if the fact ceases to exsist when we don't think about them. Of course there are other issues such as how the world is run.

The problem is what can we do even if we know about these issues? We are almost helpless. And the issues are abundant, the corruption in politics and links with capital, the environment issues, human rights issues, global distribution issues, trade, workers right as well as things connected. Such as have you ever thought of why Goldman Sacks makes so much money, where all they do is gamble their money in so called "investments"?

I myself thought I chose social policy in my way to tackle maybe one of the billion problems existing in the world. However, the more I get into the studies, I feel like I am parting more from it day by day. What am I exactly doing and is this helping people or the world in any way? I don't think so.. Should I change my dissertation topic so that it will deal with real life issues? and could I really choose a topic that can make a difference and Can I really make a difference?
It is hard to say especially due to the fact that academia is not the best arena to be in to per se change the world. Although we can change it indirectly many of the works done in academia is still far from reality.

Every time I get information about the realities of the world, I feel extremely depressed to face the fact that the world is not this happy ending place. So what can you do? One way is to be consumed in other things such as the little enjoyments and entertainment which is thrown at our faces every day by media and the sort, don't worry it doesn't take long to forget everything and concentrate more on what you want and what you don't have "yet!".

Also the other thing is being consumed in everyday life and everyday issues, such as taking the kids to school, working, conflicts with your wife, husband, boss, friends, or the conflicts which you have with yourself on whether you should have the salade or sandwich for lunch. See these are the more crucial questions in life.

I will elaborate further on this later.... to be continued?

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Asian beauty VS beautiful Asians


One of the things I have noticed during my time here in Europe is that the perception of beauty if enormously different depending on where you’re from. Of course there is the shared beauties, such as Angelina Jolie, the girl is a sex symbol where ever you put her.



However, the Asian conception of beauty and what the “non-Asians” consider as beautiful is quite different. I can see this difference when I see the Korean-American actresses on US-telly and compare them with Korean actresses on Korean telly. The biggest names in US telly who are Korean descendants are Sandra Oh, and Margaret Cho. These women have Korean parents who immigrated to Canada and the US and they probably were born and raised in America. Anyways if you see these girls there are some familiarities. Both have smallish eyes with single lidded droppy eyelids and have long oval yet flat faces. They also have small noses and well more importantly very strong tough characteristics with loads of dry humour. Let’s now look at the biggest names in Korean telly. Cause I haven’t watch telly in along time I can’t say who is the biggest name but here are some nominees. Kim Hee Sun, Chon Ji Hyun, Song Hae gyo. These girls all have big eyes with double eye lids, small faces with pointyish chins, small mouths and well pointy noses and their faces are more 3-dimensional, if you know what I'm saying.


The point is… see the differences. The difference is that the actresses that are famous in Korea more or less have the western-Caucasian facial characteristics and the ones famous in America looks more or less like the typical Korean of which you can’t find anymore in Korea. (Everybody has double eye lids with big eyes thanks to our abundant amount of plastics surgeons. Seriously, all my friends from Korea, either have it by birth or “developed them” in their 20s.)
It is such a pity that Asians ourselves do not recognize the beauty of looking Asian – of course here I mean more or less east-Asian. Every girl in Korea gets their eyes done and many are now getting their nose topped up. Faces need to be pointier and well skinny as a stick but that’s another matter. There is a fad in Korea that have started approximately 2~3 years ago with girls trying to take photos of themselves that makes them look like they have eyes that cover half their face, with pale white skin. I thought these made them look like aliens and they looked all the same.. From this you can tell how we hate looking Asian and try to look as western? as possible.
The sad thing is after the more Asian faced models were used in the US and Europe, Korea started using more or less the models with Asian features. It’s like we need others, the western media more or less, to tell us what can be perceived as being pretty and what cannot. We needed them to tell us that looking Asian is ok.
The good thing is I can be considered an “Asian” faced person, or in Korean 된장(dween jjang- which is THE Korean dish and what we call people who look so Korean you cannot deny it) and can get appreciated more so here in Europe. However, I have to admit that even I think someone is crazy when they say I look attractive. I can’t help but tell them “your eyes are completely fucked up” but then again what do I know.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

John Cleese's Message to the Citizens of America

This is John Cleese's message sent to the people in the US after the re-election of Bush.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen ElizabethII will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary Then look up aluminum, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed atjust how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as "favour" and"neighbour". Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut" without skipping half the letters, and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."

3. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up "vocabulary").

4. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

5. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

6. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

7. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers,or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists showsthat you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handledby adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

8. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish tocarry a vegetable peeler in public.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect.

11. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will helpyou understand the British sense of humour.

12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have mistakenly been calling gasoline)-roughly $6 per US gallon Get used to it.

13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

14. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

15. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as goodguys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in FourWeddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removedwith a cheese grater.

16.You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, intime, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to Americanfootball, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds orwearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

17. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to hostan event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

18. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

19. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all tax monies due(backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation."

==============================================================

Seriously this guy is so funny that I want to bear his children or any of the crew from Monty Python's flying circus..

Sunday, January 29, 2006

RH Factor


Roy Hargrove trumpet player, in collaboration with numerous big names such as D'angelo, Eryka Badu, Meshell N'degeocello, Anthony Hamilton, Common, Q-tip, and exellent band session members..Marc Cary, Steve Coleman, Gene Lake; James Poyser, Pino Palladino, Bernard Wright; Karl Denson..
mixes jazz funk soul in a contemporary way.

For me I especially love the song "Juicy". Very sensual..with the vocals by Ms. Renee Neufville.

I saw RH Factor live last year in Paradiso, Amsterdam.. the band was amazing.
True quality music, so good that even if you don't really appriciate that type of genre, they were so good that you get pursuaded into their grove immidiately. The crowd totally lost themselves in the music and the band got three encores... it could've even went longer

Here is a link for his live gig in the Netherlands- RH Factor in North Sea Jazz Festival

For more info about RH Factor, Roy Hargrove home page

Their new albumn is out "Strength [EP]" (2004)

How big is the room again?

Ok, now that I am soon to be homeless because of my housemate-land lady's daughter of mine, which is a completely different story which I won't get into..I am now looking for flats.

Well, not flats but more or less a room.. a kamer in a house with people in it. this is because I am a instable manic-depressive with high chances of developing schizophrenia. I should refrain from living completely alone, even if other ignorant beings annoy the living day-lights out of me. But that again is a different story which I might be able to write when this blog become a kind of a "dear diary" place..

Anyways I am searching for rooms via internet.. http://www.kamernet.nl/ which is a nice site and all, but people lie like crazy here.
For instance all the information you can obtain is 1)where it is, 2)how many people live there, 3)shared kitchen?bathroom?toliet?livingroom? 4)how much it is-price, 5) pets allowed 6) smoking allowed or not...and the most important thing is 7)how big the rooms are.

Here is the problem. All I really look at is the size.. and the thing is I think most people just take any random number out of their asses to put up. I mean, there is no correlation with the actual room size to the numbers what so ever.
Like today, I go to a room which is supposed to be "23 m2". I've measured my current room, it is approximately 14 m2. So 23 m2 will be about a bit less than twice the size of my room, and letting room for a bit of exaggeration, I would say something like 1.5 times my room.
I go there and I know they measured not the square meter of the room but cubic.
Not even! It is somewhat the size of my room, and the walls are slanted! My god! Well of course this is not the only time this happened. The first time I went room searching in the Netherlands, I went to a room which was supposed to be 15 m2 and I go in, and it is the size of Carrie Bradshaw’s closet.. no only the right side of her closet. It looked more like a coffin than a room to me. It was where cluster phobias were borne.
So now I think there is no use to actually look at what people write down for the sizes of the room and sometime I even feel like taking a measuring tape with me and going over to the rooms posted up just to tell people “Look! See! This AINT f*C%in 25m2 you ass hole!” or more so in their own language, “Kijk! Deze kamer is niet 25 vierkantemeters! Klotzak!”
But then again, wat kan ik doen, I am just a alien here soon to be homeless..
Now if you excuse me I have to go and search for rooms with random numbers as their sizes..


now this room is more like it.. high ceilings, and lots of light.. is this too much to ask?

Friday, January 27, 2006

Ajumma

In Korea a married women is called "ajumma"However this does not just have the implication given in the definition.It is mostly associated with a bit of ignorance, selfishness (for themselves and their children), and rowdy?.. loud mouthed.. I guess.As a Korean myself, it is my destiny to become one of these gender neutered beings with a semi-afro that push people continuously in streets, buses and in tubes trying with their god given power to get a sit and then pretend to fall asleep right after so no injured individual can come up to confront them in their behaviour.


sleeping ajummas in a tube

Yes, I myself am bound to be one of them and it is useless to think otherwise..The issue is When? Will I wake up one morning to find my hair permed tightly on my head, and find someone has placed somewhat of MC Hammer trousers (but with flower prints on them..but the same material) instead of my Levis'?

But this is the thing, even now I find myself being "ajumma" like in many ways dealing with daily life.The biggest thing I've noticed is the fact that now I am becoming more and more of a person with insufficient knowledge or the guts/or maybe even brain power to adapt to the changes that are happening in society.Even this blog, it took me ages to figure out what the fuck people were talking about when they went about "blogging this and blogging that" and the whole flikr thing...where is the e anyways? and tag? I thought that was a game that consisted of people touching each other and running away..(some what like one night stands I guess)..and I still don't know what that button on the top right corner does.. "flag?" flag what? flagging? flagged?

The biggest problems is, yes there were times when I was younger and didn't know the most recent "kool" thing in technology, but then I was fast to pick it up right after.Now I start to get migraines and the voice of the person who is trying to explain how things work, goes in to a fuzzy sound that I cannot comprehend..Then! I know.. it has begun.. my "ajummazation process" The other thing I've noticed is that I don't get embarrased as I used to. The iron mask face, as we call it, is slowing taking its form on my face now. I find myself actually telling boys(yes boys..cuz usually they are younger) "aren't you handsome!" or making odd remarks to random people on the street and all..

Now its just days until I will start buying my first pants that go just below the breasts...

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Nederlands toet

Ik heb de intaketoets geslaagd! Met een score van 74%.
Maar dat is niet zo goed omdat ik heb tot A-2 gelerd, en de toet was voor A-1.
In elk gevaal ik spreek nu Nederlands..keke

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Han Hoogerbrugge


This guy is a neurotic artist (this is how he describe his own work) that have a bit of the spookiness or psychotic characteristics you see in "twin peaks" or "Brazil" but in a drawing format. He mostly draws himself in many of his work.
He has his own website that has loads of his work and links to his work, including "the Hotel" an interactive story. Definately a must see places for those who think they have discovered all there is to offer on the web and is thristy for some more places to spend their office hours in front of the computer without having to actually work.
I must say he is one of the things the dutch can be proud about.


http://www.hoogerbrugge.com/

Blog

photo by thom thom thom thom

My god I think I have a gift for wasting time..

I am trying as hard as possible to find some random reason to not work..

Now I have started this whole blogging thing.

I guess this is a good thing..
atleast I am not wasting my time watching TV..

don't expect anything profound or meaningful here..