Thursday, March 27, 2008

Marriage as an institution does it work?

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) found 45% of marriages will end in divorce before a couple's 50th anniversary. There is 31% chance that your marriage will end before your 10th year anniversary, and calculating divorces and deaths, only 10% of all couples will celebrate their 60th anniversary, not to say that there are many people getting married in the first place, since marriage rates are continuously dropping and keep hitting record lows.
Of course this is due to many things such as development of contraceptions, economic independence of women, changes in social norms including family norms, and also it may have to do with the fact that we are not meant to be monogamous in the first place and now its the era where people are not restricted to this myth.

This generates several schools of ideas, those who think why bother? and those who believe, do it anyhow and two is always better than one, do it but don't do it in the institution,,,,

but seriously are we going into the era of singles? (who are the majority already)
But then why is it that EVERYONE around me is already hooked up?

I guess one of the reasons that make people want to pair up is due to the fact that since everyone else is, you can't avoid it. Its like playing that game you used to play in grade school where someone shouts out a number and you must team up with others to form a group of that specific number. If you don't you are out of the game. Since I feel like I would like to be in the game, I think I have to team up, and this day and age, its still "two" that is being shouted, not one.. or three. Of course the beauty of it is that due to the ease of breakage of the relationships, even if you're out of the game this round, there is another round coming up, if you wait long enough. Then again, there is no guarantees there as well.

But maybe we should just all give up trying to find the person who you will spend "the rest of your life" with and accept the fact that this is just for the time being. All relationships being a long term fling of some sort, that will end eventually.

This should not be taken all too negatively. For this means that you don't have to worry about whether this person is perfect for you, if that person is "the person", and don't have to think that this will and or has to be the last decision you will ever make on relationships. Really choosing Mr./Ms. Good enough for now, will be the only choice you need to make, yes that and if you want to invest in that person for at least during that period of your life, and you rather be two with that person rather than one.


Anna said...

Besides the fact that not EVERYONE around you is already hooked up, I absolutely don’t think that everyone wants to pair up. Seriously, you make it sounds as if this is a great concern for everyone. And here think of the movement of my hand, if you know what I mean ;-)
I agree for the last part instead, definitely, even though the way you put it, this “good enough for now” sounds quite bad to me. I would simply say “good now”, and since we change over time, what good means might change as well.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe there is any scientific evidence that there is a 'right' partner out there, nor do I think there will be. With human population at a historical high, there should be a greater likelihood of finding a 'perfect' match. The reality is that you have more cud to chew through. And if you stick with the same cud, sometimes it starts tasting good.

It's not so great a navel. Stop staring at it.