Knowledge is a disease

That is one of the old Korean sayings that more I see it seems true. Attaining knowledge does not only make you enlighted or smart it makes you suffer as well.
You might wonder where I'm trying to go with this. I'm not saying we should stay ignorant or thick, but just that in knowing there is the consequences of being depressed.. Let me elaborate.
I believe that most people consciously or unconsciously block out large portion of information out of their systems. Although we have the general idea about the starving children in Africa or South America, or the exploited worker in Pakistan, we do not go into detail about these issues, as if the fact ceases to exsist when we don't think about them. Of course there are other issues such as how the world is run.

The problem is what can we do even if we know about these issues? We are almost helpless. And the issues are abundant, the corruption in politics and links with capital, the environment issues, human rights issues, global distribution issues, trade, workers right as well as things connected. Such as have you ever thought of why Goldman Sacks makes so much money, where all they do is gamble their money in so called "investments"?

I myself thought I chose social policy in my way to tackle maybe one of the billion problems existing in the world. However, the more I get into the studies, I feel like I am parting more from it day by day. What am I exactly doing and is this helping people or the world in any way? I don't think so.. Should I change my dissertation topic so that it will deal with real life issues? and could I really choose a topic that can make a difference and Can I really make a difference?
It is hard to say especially due to the fact that academia is not the best arena to be in to per se change the world. Although we can change it indirectly many of the works done in academia is still far from reality.

Every time I get information about the realities of the world, I feel extremely depressed to face the fact that the world is not this happy ending place. So what can you do? One way is to be consumed in other things such as the little enjoyments and entertainment which is thrown at our faces every day by media and the sort, don't worry it doesn't take long to forget everything and concentrate more on what you want and what you don't have "yet!".

Also the other thing is being consumed in everyday life and everyday issues, such as taking the kids to school, working, conflicts with your wife, husband, boss, friends, or the conflicts which you have with yourself on whether you should have the salade or sandwich for lunch. See these are the more crucial questions in life.

I will elaborate further on this later.... to be continued?

Asian beauty VS beautiful Asians

One of the things I have noticed during my time here in Europe is that the perception of beauty if enormously different depending on where you’re from. Of course there is the shared beauties, such as Angelina Jolie, the girl is a sex symbol where ever you put her.



However, the Asian conception of beauty and what the “non-Asians” consider as beautiful is quite different. I can see this difference when I see the Korean-American actresses on US-telly and compare them with Korean actresses on Korean telly. The biggest names in US telly who are Korean descendants are Sandra Oh, and Margaret Cho. These women have Korean parents who immigrated to Canada and the US and they probably were born and raised in America. Anyways if you see these girls there are some familiarities. Both have smallish eyes with single lidded droppy eyelids and have long oval yet flat faces. They also have small noses and well more importantly very strong tough characteristics with loads of dry humour. Let’s now look at the biggest names in Korean telly. Cause I haven’t watch telly in along time I can’t say who is the biggest name but here are some nominees. Kim Hee Sun, Chon Ji Hyun, Song Hae gyo. These girls all have big eyes with double eye lids, small faces with pointyish chins, small mouths and well pointy noses and their faces are more 3-dimensional, if you know what I'm saying.


The point is… see the differences. The difference is that the actresses that are famous in Korea more or less have the western-Caucasian facial characteristics and the ones famous in America looks more or less like the typical Korean of which you can’t find anymore in Korea. (Everybody has double eye lids with big eyes thanks to our abundant amount of plastics surgeons. Seriously, all my friends from Korea, either have it by birth or “developed them” in their 20s.)
It is such a pity that Asians ourselves do not recognize the beauty of looking Asian – of course here I mean more or less east-Asian. Every girl in Korea gets their eyes done and many are now getting their nose topped up. Faces need to be pointier and well skinny as a stick but that’s another matter. There is a fad in Korea that have started approximately 2~3 years ago with girls trying to take photos of themselves that makes them look like they have eyes that cover half their face, with pale white skin. I thought these made them look like aliens and they looked all the same.. From this you can tell how we hate looking Asian and try to look as western? as possible.
The sad thing is after the more Asian faced models were used in the US and Europe, Korea started using more or less the models with Asian features. It’s like we need others, the western media more or less, to tell us what can be perceived as being pretty and what cannot. We needed them to tell us that looking Asian is ok.
The good thing is I can be considered an “Asian” faced person, or in Korean 된장(dween jjang- which is THE Korean dish and what we call people who look so Korean you cannot deny it) and can get appreciated more so here in Europe. However, I have to admit that even I think someone is crazy when they say I look attractive. I can’t help but tell them “your eyes are completely fucked up” but then again what do I know.

John Cleese's Message to the Citizens of America

This is John Cleese's message sent to the people in the US after the re-election of Bush.
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"In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen ElizabethII will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary Then look up aluminum, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed atjust how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as "favour" and"neighbour". Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut" without skipping half the letters, and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."

3. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up "vocabulary").

4. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

5. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

6. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

7. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers,or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists showsthat you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handledby adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

8. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish tocarry a vegetable peeler in public.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect.

11. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will helpyou understand the British sense of humour.

12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have mistakenly been calling gasoline)-roughly $6 per US gallon Get used to it.

13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

14. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

15. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as goodguys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in FourWeddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removedwith a cheese grater.

16.You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, intime, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to Americanfootball, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds orwearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

17. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to hostan event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

18. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

19. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all tax monies due(backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation."

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Seriously this guy is so funny that I want to bear his children or any of the crew from Monty Python's flying circus..

RH Factor

Roy Hargrove trumpet player, in collaboration with numerous big names such as D'angelo, Eryka Badu, Meshell N'degeocello, Anthony Hamilton, Common, Q-tip, and exellent band session members..Marc Cary, Steve Coleman, Gene Lake; James Poyser, Pino Palladino, Bernard Wright; Karl Denson..
mixes jazz funk soul in a contemporary way.

For me I especially love the song "Juicy". Very sensual..with the vocals by Ms. Renee Neufville.

I saw RH Factor live last year in Paradiso, Amsterdam.. the band was amazing.
True quality music, so good that even if you don't really appriciate that type of genre, they were so good that you get pursuaded into their grove immidiately. The crowd totally lost themselves in the music and the band got three encores... it could've even went longer

Here is a link for his live gig in the Netherlands- RH Factor in North Sea Jazz Festival

For more info about RH Factor, Roy Hargrove home page

Their new albumn is out "Strength [EP]" (2004)

How big is the room again?

Ok, now that I am soon to be homeless because of my housemate-land lady's daughter of mine, which is a completely different story which I won't get into..I am now looking for flats.

Well, not flats but more or less a room.. a kamer in a house with people in it. this is because I am a instable manic-depressive with high chances of developing schizophrenia. I should refrain from living completely alone, even if other ignorant beings annoy the living day-lights out of me. But that again is a different story which I might be able to write when this blog become a kind of a "dear diary" place..

Anyways I am searching for rooms via internet.. http://www.kamernet.nl/ which is a nice site and all, but people lie like crazy here.
For instance all the information you can obtain is 1)where it is, 2)how many people live there, 3)shared kitchen?bathroom?toliet?livingroom? 4)how much it is-price, 5) pets allowed 6) smoking allowed or not...and the most important thing is 7)how big the rooms are.

Here is the problem. All I really look at is the size.. and the thing is I think most people just take any random number out of their asses to put up. I mean, there is no correlation with the actual room size to the numbers what so ever.
Like today, I go to a room which is supposed to be "23 m2". I've measured my current room, it is approximately 14 m2. So 23 m2 will be about a bit less than twice the size of my room, and letting room for a bit of exaggeration, I would say something like 1.5 times my room.
I go there and I know they measured not the square meter of the room but cubic.
Not even! It is somewhat the size of my room, and the walls are slanted! My god! Well of course this is not the only time this happened. The first time I went room searching in the Netherlands, I went to a room which was supposed to be 15 m2 and I go in, and it is the size of Carrie Bradshaw’s closet.. no only the right side of her closet. It looked more like a coffin than a room to me. It was where cluster phobias were borne.
So now I think there is no use to actually look at what people write down for the sizes of the room and sometime I even feel like taking a measuring tape with me and going over to the rooms posted up just to tell people “Look! See! This AINT f*C%in 25m2 you ass hole!” or more so in their own language, “Kijk! Deze kamer is niet 25 vierkantemeters! Klotzak!”
But then again, wat kan ik doen, I am just a alien here soon to be homeless..
Now if you excuse me I have to go and search for rooms with random numbers as their sizes..


now this room is more like it.. high ceilings, and lots of light.. is this too much to ask?

Ajumma

In Korea a married women is called "ajumma"However this does not just have the implication given in the definition.It is mostly associated with a bit of ignorance, selfishness (for themselves and their children), and rowdy?.. loud mouthed.. I guess.As a Korean myself, it is my destiny to become one of these gender neutered beings with a semi-afro that push people continuously in streets, buses and in tubes trying with their god given power to get a sit and then pretend to fall asleep right after so no injured individual can come up to confront them in their behaviour.

sleeping ajummas in a tube

Yes, I myself am bound to be one of them and it is useless to think otherwise..The issue is When? Will I wake up one morning to find my hair permed tightly on my head, and find someone has placed somewhat of MC Hammer trousers (but with flower prints on them..but the same material) instead of my Levis'?

But this is the thing, even now I find myself being "ajumma" like in many ways dealing with daily life.The biggest thing I've noticed is the fact that now I am becoming more and more of a person with insufficient knowledge or the guts/or maybe even brain power to adapt to the changes that are happening in society.Even this blog, it took me ages to figure out what the fuck people were talking about when they went about "blogging this and blogging that" and the whole flikr thing...where is the e anyways? and tag? I thought that was a game that consisted of people touching each other and running away..(some what like one night stands I guess)..and I still don't know what that button on the top right corner does.. "flag?" flag what? flagging? flagged?

The biggest problems is, yes there were times when I was younger and didn't know the most recent "kool" thing in technology, but then I was fast to pick it up right after.Now I start to get migraines and the voice of the person who is trying to explain how things work, goes in to a fuzzy sound that I cannot comprehend..Then! I know.. it has begun.. my "ajummazation process" The other thing I've noticed is that I don't get embarrased as I used to. The iron mask face, as we call it, is slowing taking its form on my face now. I find myself actually telling boys(yes boys..cuz usually they are younger) "aren't you handsome!" or making odd remarks to random people on the street and all..

Now its just days until I will start buying my first pants that go just below the breasts...

Nederlands toet

Ik heb de intaketoets geslaagd! Met een score van 74%.
Maar dat is niet zo goed omdat ik heb tot A-2 gelerd, en de toet was voor A-1.
In elk gevaal ik spreek nu Nederlands..keke

Han Hoogerbrugge

This guy is a neurotic artist (this is how he describe his own work) that have a bit of the spookiness or psychotic characteristics you see in "twin peaks" or "Brazil" but in a drawing format. He mostly draws himself in many of his work.
He has his own website that has loads of his work and links to his work, including "the Hotel" an interactive story. Definately a must see places for those who think they have discovered all there is to offer on the web and is thristy for some more places to spend their office hours in front of the computer without having to actually work.
I must say he is one of the things the dutch can be proud about.

http://www.hoogerbrugge.com/

Blog

photo by thom thom thom thom

My god I think I have a gift for wasting time..

I am trying as hard as possible to find some random reason to not work..

Now I have started this whole blogging thing.

I guess this is a good thing..
atleast I am not wasting my time watching TV..

don't expect anything profound or meaningful here..