I really like comedians...
Strangely even since I was little, I just could not resist a funny man... it automatically make me want ... the guy.
I also love scottish and irish guys.. their sense of humour added with a sprinkle of a strong accent... ahhhh (seriously, one of the biggest reason for me to go back is because of the Scottish lads... really)
Well in CBS there is this guy who is these two combined.. his name is Craig Ferguson.. a scottish lad, from glasgow... ahhh...glasgow...who came over to the US when he was 21.. now at 44 he has finally made it in the business with his own show- "the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" after david letterman...
He is right now on a roll I think
he is just soo funny- I have the feeling that I would want to impregnate myself with his seed - check out my previous blog about John Cleese.. this happens sometimes.. hehe
Anyways here is a segment of his stuff hilarious- this one is on 70s Scottish Porn..
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Free Hug Campaign
This is a story of a guy who started giving free hugs to people, I've heard in Australia - to pass on the love.. I guess.
The writing with the video reads---------------------------------------------
Sometimes, a hug is all what we need. Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whos sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.
In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.
As this symbol of human hope spread accross the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.
After watching this, which was approximately a month ago or something, I was inspired deeply and decided to do this myself, but not to strangers but to my friends. To give my friends hugs whenever I meet them.
The only problem is that because we are not used to doing this, I myself was uneasy about when to give the hugs and how, and the persons being hugged themselves sometimes did not know how to properly hug, they felt like stiff logs.
As if you couldn't go through to them no matter what.. it felt like I could feel their walls or something. Also I think some people thought hugs should be reserved for the few... real occassions.
Afterwards, I've returned to the three times kissing on the cheeks or handshakes or nothings/niks- and hugs just for the rare moments when it is needed... such as meeting my friends who I haven't met for a long time, or when someone needs to be lifted up emotionally... or when I felt a connection with someone. To add on the physical side to the emotional side, its nice to have a "heart to heart"...
The writing with the video reads---------------------------------------------
Sometimes, a hug is all what we need. Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whos sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.
In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.
As this symbol of human hope spread accross the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.
After watching this, which was approximately a month ago or something, I was inspired deeply and decided to do this myself, but not to strangers but to my friends. To give my friends hugs whenever I meet them.
The only problem is that because we are not used to doing this, I myself was uneasy about when to give the hugs and how, and the persons being hugged themselves sometimes did not know how to properly hug, they felt like stiff logs.
As if you couldn't go through to them no matter what.. it felt like I could feel their walls or something. Also I think some people thought hugs should be reserved for the few... real occassions.
Afterwards, I've returned to the three times kissing on the cheeks or handshakes or nothings/niks- and hugs just for the rare moments when it is needed... such as meeting my friends who I haven't met for a long time, or when someone needs to be lifted up emotionally... or when I felt a connection with someone. To add on the physical side to the emotional side, its nice to have a "heart to heart"...
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
your true self
One of the questions, that I am asked often or other people are asked is " what do you find attractive in a guy/girl" or "what do you look for in a guy/girl"...
and the answer differs, depending on your age, on what stage of life your in, on your past relationship - definately this, because if you had a bad relationship, you try to avoid some types of characteristics (or just signs of certain characteristics) and/or try to find something that wasn't there ... ect.
These days, maybe its because I've grown up or maybe its because I am exhausted from the petty relationships I 've experienced... but I think the most important thing you must look for is, if you can be comfortable in front of that person... if you can show your naked self - not physically, well that too but more importantly mentally- in front of that person, just fragile and all vunerable, and do not care about it, no feel confortable doing it or having the feeling you want to do so.
If you can do that... than that is the person for you.
the thing is that, when I was trying to look for a good looking guy, that was easy...
when I was trying to find a guy that was highly educated and had exciting thoughts, that was also easy, well not as easy but possible...
but to find someone who can really see you through all the bull shit all the superficial cover up all the walls that surround you.... that is difficult...
it is almost impossible.
One of the reasons for this I guess is because, I myself do not know what my true self is...
But when you've found that person, and you know this, you shouldn't let him/her go... the only problem is that when you have it and had it for some time, you sometimes forget the value of what you are holding and tend to let it go for other unimportant things.
and the answer differs, depending on your age, on what stage of life your in, on your past relationship - definately this, because if you had a bad relationship, you try to avoid some types of characteristics (or just signs of certain characteristics) and/or try to find something that wasn't there ... ect.
These days, maybe its because I've grown up or maybe its because I am exhausted from the petty relationships I 've experienced... but I think the most important thing you must look for is, if you can be comfortable in front of that person... if you can show your naked self - not physically, well that too but more importantly mentally- in front of that person, just fragile and all vunerable, and do not care about it, no feel confortable doing it or having the feeling you want to do so.
If you can do that... than that is the person for you.
the thing is that, when I was trying to look for a good looking guy, that was easy...
when I was trying to find a guy that was highly educated and had exciting thoughts, that was also easy, well not as easy but possible...
but to find someone who can really see you through all the bull shit all the superficial cover up all the walls that surround you.... that is difficult...
it is almost impossible.
One of the reasons for this I guess is because, I myself do not know what my true self is...
But when you've found that person, and you know this, you shouldn't let him/her go... the only problem is that when you have it and had it for some time, you sometimes forget the value of what you are holding and tend to let it go for other unimportant things.
Monday, October 23, 2006
WORK virus
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).
If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should forward this warning to your friends. If you do not have friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should forward this warning to your friends. If you do not have friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Google Error
Yes it has actually happened...
God of the 21st century our Big Brother, Almighty itself
GOOGLE HAD AN ERROR IN THEIR SERVER!!!!
First of all, I was quite surprised, I suspect it was a hacker in action, I seize to believe that there was actually a server error due to their mistakes, no that just cannot happen.
However I have to admit to the fact that it is becoming more scarier and scarier due to the fact that now google owns EVERYTHING... on the net that is..
When it bought You Tube, that was it, that was the signal when we realize we must hail Google and must worship it, because it will soon own you.
But seriously, I am a big fan... am a believer...
In google we trust.
but we should beware of things to happen, maybe it will become the big brother who is watching you.
God of the 21st century our Big Brother, Almighty itself
GOOGLE HAD AN ERROR IN THEIR SERVER!!!!
First of all, I was quite surprised, I suspect it was a hacker in action, I seize to believe that there was actually a server error due to their mistakes, no that just cannot happen.
However I have to admit to the fact that it is becoming more scarier and scarier due to the fact that now google owns EVERYTHING... on the net that is..
When it bought You Tube, that was it, that was the signal when we realize we must hail Google and must worship it, because it will soon own you.
But seriously, I am a big fan... am a believer...
In google we trust.
but we should beware of things to happen, maybe it will become the big brother who is watching you.
On Happiness and existential questions
"Another thought occurs: perhaps happiness is in inverse relationship to intelligence. In our first and second childhoods, we are tolerably happy, but intellectually challenged; only in the middle of our lives are we clever enough to realise that life is utterly meaningless, directed towards death and that the unlikelihood of an afterlife means that we have no rational justification for turning that existential frown upside down?" Stuart Jefferies.
Like this it might be that we are faced with the existential questions around the time where it seems to be more or less you should be happy with the certain condition you are under or have achieved (so hard to get even).. such as a proper job, a stable marriage or a suitable partner, house etc are secured. Ofcourse it does not mean that you do not question your existence and the "meaning of life" when you are not secured.
Whichever the case, it just is that some of us, will not let ourselves alone and face the question of life, "what is it I am doing?", "what is my life my goal?" and the sort, even when the more major things in life has been satisfied. Or atleast the most premitive needs...
Of course there are some of us who are forever unhappy due to the pure fact that they compare their situations with others, who have abit more of something then us... whatever that may be. And then there are those who are forever searching for another step. That is, after you build a foundation, you need steady pillars and then right walls, the a good ceiling and paint, furniture...
It can be good if this is a positive stress, to further yourself in life, to have something to put your energy towards in your life.
It can be a bad thing, if you are insatiable and always unhappy with whatever that is given to you.
Then again, its one thing to want something and another to question the things you have right now or the situation you are in... such as examining the relationship you have right now, it is related in the sense that when you question, alot of the time you can be unsatisfied with your situation and want better things.
Like this it might be that we are faced with the existential questions around the time where it seems to be more or less you should be happy with the certain condition you are under or have achieved (so hard to get even).. such as a proper job, a stable marriage or a suitable partner, house etc are secured. Ofcourse it does not mean that you do not question your existence and the "meaning of life" when you are not secured.
Whichever the case, it just is that some of us, will not let ourselves alone and face the question of life, "what is it I am doing?", "what is my life my goal?" and the sort, even when the more major things in life has been satisfied. Or atleast the most premitive needs...
Of course there are some of us who are forever unhappy due to the pure fact that they compare their situations with others, who have abit more of something then us... whatever that may be. And then there are those who are forever searching for another step. That is, after you build a foundation, you need steady pillars and then right walls, the a good ceiling and paint, furniture...
It can be good if this is a positive stress, to further yourself in life, to have something to put your energy towards in your life.
It can be a bad thing, if you are insatiable and always unhappy with whatever that is given to you.
Then again, its one thing to want something and another to question the things you have right now or the situation you are in... such as examining the relationship you have right now, it is related in the sense that when you question, alot of the time you can be unsatisfied with your situation and want better things.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Can I get any service around here??!!
Ok, I know it is always good to generalize with the few experience you have, but seriously, based not only on my experience but those of people around me, the Dutch really have to look up the word "service" in their dictionary.
People who are working in the "services sector" have no idea what they are getting paid for around here.
Just a few things you must remember about services in the Netherlands.
Firstly, you must serve them, they own you, not the other way around.
When I started working in the research institute, I have asked our secretary to provide me with a key, a desk and asked her to get some stuff for me.
Of course not only did she not get them, she did not even reply to my request. I was talking to a wall. It was clear that she was not there to help me at all. I had to get everything I needed myself.
I was told later that she is an "office manager" and you have to serve her as a superior to get ANYTHING done.
Secondly, do not think they will be courteous or just plain nice.
I have heard so many times how foreigners got offended by someone at the counter or someone who were supposed to serve them. I myself as well. I had my bank guy smash his fist on the table and shout, because the central computer system was down and he decided I was the closest thing he can set his anger upon. My friend was told to "fuck off" by a shop clerk in Albert Heijn, the biggest supermarket chain in the Netherlands, just because she asked her if she can use her air miles and why not. She asked for the manager, and the manager had told my friend, that their clerk was having a bad day so she should understand this, and ofcourse go fuck off.
I was also snickered at because I had stood in line without getting served for ten minutes(there were three lines that one person had to serve and she kept forgetting our line for the fourth time)even if I was the first in line, and asked if I can get one beer. She literally threw it at me.
Today I got a phone call from the services sector of an airline, low grumpy voice asking me to give them a new credit card number because the one I gave them didn't fall through. After I told them I don't feel too comfortable giving it out on a phone, especially because I cannot be sure if it is the actual airline, she yelled "then go and cancel the flight!". I asked if there was any other way, she told me there wasn't. I later found out, all I needed to do really was to call my bank and ask them if the charges have been made and let them make it, by topping up my credit.
A guy in a shop just turned his back towards me waving me off like a fly because I wanted batteries and he didn't have.
Should I go on? no.. there is just too much.
Thirdly, don't expect them to give you information, and even if they give it to you, don't trust it. Most of them will not even bother to give you the information, such as my secretary who has kindly not told me anything about the frindge benefits I can get at the institute even with serveral requests because she just cannot be bothered withit.
I also ended up paying 40 euros for my phone connection, when I have specifically asked the guy who was signing us up if there was that connection fee, and he said no. I asked again, saying I've heard from people that there was a fee, he told me again and again there wasn't.. well there goes my 40 euros.
Also I have asked if I can get a refund for a train ticket I didn't use and wanted to get refunded. I asked if I can get a refund for the tickets, showing her the ticket, and the person behind the information counter said yes, and gave me a form. Later on, I found out I couldn't. I think they just answer you yes or no, because they don't want to go in detail about it. Its something like "let's just give the foreigner a short reply.. Don't' matter if it is right or wrong".
For similar reasons I was sent back and forth to different cities when I was trying to get my visa, cuz people just didn't tell me exactly where I needed to go, or what process I needed to go through, but kept sending me to another person, in another city which is atleast an hour by train and bus, who tells me I was supposed to be in another place another city to get what I needed, ofcourse this is after waiting for an hour to talk to this person.
Also it takes them forever to do things. My friend had something wrong with her laptop. She asked to get it repaired - had warranty on it. They took it a couple of weeks after she had requested it, took it for a couple of months just to tell her that they do not have the part that they need to fix it and that they will send it back after three weeks. Great.
If you call the 0900 service lines, they will hang up on you....After making you wait 30 minutes. Had that happen several times. First they pick up, after hearing "alles onze medewerkers zijn in gesprek een ogenblijk alsublief".. which means, all our workers are busy, one moment please... for about 10~20minutes (which the call cost 30 euro cents per minute on top of the normal fee). And then when you start talking in English, they pretend to forward the call to someone, and then you wait again for another 10 minutes or so, and then you hear the sound of the phone being disconnected... Happened so many times, not only to me but others.. am so used to it that everytime I speak to someone, I plea to them not to hang up on me.
There are other things, but I think I have made myself clear. Should I go on further?
HOwever, I have talked to my Dutch friend about this, and was told that it is not because of the fact that I was a foreigner, they are like that to everyone. So here is another cultural SHOCK.
People who are working in the "services sector" have no idea what they are getting paid for around here.
Just a few things you must remember about services in the Netherlands.
Firstly, you must serve them, they own you, not the other way around.
When I started working in the research institute, I have asked our secretary to provide me with a key, a desk and asked her to get some stuff for me.
Of course not only did she not get them, she did not even reply to my request. I was talking to a wall. It was clear that she was not there to help me at all. I had to get everything I needed myself.
I was told later that she is an "office manager" and you have to serve her as a superior to get ANYTHING done.
Secondly, do not think they will be courteous or just plain nice.
I have heard so many times how foreigners got offended by someone at the counter or someone who were supposed to serve them. I myself as well. I had my bank guy smash his fist on the table and shout, because the central computer system was down and he decided I was the closest thing he can set his anger upon. My friend was told to "fuck off" by a shop clerk in Albert Heijn, the biggest supermarket chain in the Netherlands, just because she asked her if she can use her air miles and why not. She asked for the manager, and the manager had told my friend, that their clerk was having a bad day so she should understand this, and ofcourse go fuck off.
I was also snickered at because I had stood in line without getting served for ten minutes(there were three lines that one person had to serve and she kept forgetting our line for the fourth time)even if I was the first in line, and asked if I can get one beer. She literally threw it at me.
Today I got a phone call from the services sector of an airline, low grumpy voice asking me to give them a new credit card number because the one I gave them didn't fall through. After I told them I don't feel too comfortable giving it out on a phone, especially because I cannot be sure if it is the actual airline, she yelled "then go and cancel the flight!". I asked if there was any other way, she told me there wasn't. I later found out, all I needed to do really was to call my bank and ask them if the charges have been made and let them make it, by topping up my credit.
A guy in a shop just turned his back towards me waving me off like a fly because I wanted batteries and he didn't have.
Should I go on? no.. there is just too much.
Thirdly, don't expect them to give you information, and even if they give it to you, don't trust it. Most of them will not even bother to give you the information, such as my secretary who has kindly not told me anything about the frindge benefits I can get at the institute even with serveral requests because she just cannot be bothered withit.
I also ended up paying 40 euros for my phone connection, when I have specifically asked the guy who was signing us up if there was that connection fee, and he said no. I asked again, saying I've heard from people that there was a fee, he told me again and again there wasn't.. well there goes my 40 euros.
Also I have asked if I can get a refund for a train ticket I didn't use and wanted to get refunded. I asked if I can get a refund for the tickets, showing her the ticket, and the person behind the information counter said yes, and gave me a form. Later on, I found out I couldn't. I think they just answer you yes or no, because they don't want to go in detail about it. Its something like "let's just give the foreigner a short reply.. Don't' matter if it is right or wrong".
For similar reasons I was sent back and forth to different cities when I was trying to get my visa, cuz people just didn't tell me exactly where I needed to go, or what process I needed to go through, but kept sending me to another person, in another city which is atleast an hour by train and bus, who tells me I was supposed to be in another place another city to get what I needed, ofcourse this is after waiting for an hour to talk to this person.
Also it takes them forever to do things. My friend had something wrong with her laptop. She asked to get it repaired - had warranty on it. They took it a couple of weeks after she had requested it, took it for a couple of months just to tell her that they do not have the part that they need to fix it and that they will send it back after three weeks. Great.
If you call the 0900 service lines, they will hang up on you....After making you wait 30 minutes. Had that happen several times. First they pick up, after hearing "alles onze medewerkers zijn in gesprek een ogenblijk alsublief".. which means, all our workers are busy, one moment please... for about 10~20minutes (which the call cost 30 euro cents per minute on top of the normal fee). And then when you start talking in English, they pretend to forward the call to someone, and then you wait again for another 10 minutes or so, and then you hear the sound of the phone being disconnected... Happened so many times, not only to me but others.. am so used to it that everytime I speak to someone, I plea to them not to hang up on me.
There are other things, but I think I have made myself clear. Should I go on further?
HOwever, I have talked to my Dutch friend about this, and was told that it is not because of the fact that I was a foreigner, they are like that to everyone. So here is another cultural SHOCK.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Life as a non-smoker
Ok.. its now been 6 weeks since my last cigarette.
It has been good and all but it had to go.
Well actually I've only stopped smoking cuz I was sick for two weeks and couldn't smoke and thought, well if I lasted this long, maybe I can go further.
Also I wanted to know how much of the anxiety and nervousness was actually due to nicotine withdrawal symtoms.
Whichever the case, it was hard in the beginning, especially because you feel like you've lost a big part of yourself.
Smoking is not just a habit, it is a culture!
You have "smoking buddies" "smoker's jokes" all the gimmicks that has to do with smoking, the way you hold your ciggy to the way you blow out your smoke.
It takes time and effort to get it just right. To make smoking your own. To Own it.
Well.. to loose that, that culture that "coolness" those "buddies"... the one thing that had stuck with you all throughout your past ten years, the good times and bad..It was like you main support system and your companion when you're alone.
In other words you go through not only the physical withdrawls but the emotional and psychological.
But I've managed and now feel like "a non smoker" which is strange because I have always been not too keen on non smokers and non drinkers. Its like you hate couples when you're single and then you have a girl/boy friend and you feel like you've crossed the line. Because I am quite a loyal person, it feels like I have betrayed my smokers' group. My society, my people.
Well not completely. My familiarity and amiability towards my smokers are still there. I am not and will not be one of those people who will fan the air with their hands when smokes come their way, I will gladly inhale my serving of second hand smoke. I will not tell smokers that it is bad for them, on the contrary I had hell of a time during my withdrawal period, so I suggest they don't quit until they really want to torture themselves. I don't think smoking is disgusting or bad (okay I must admit that after I stopped smoking I've realized all my clothes don't stink any more)nor should smokers be casted out of society.
Let's just say I have become a non practicing smoker. But my heart is still you y'all.
It has been good and all but it had to go.
Well actually I've only stopped smoking cuz I was sick for two weeks and couldn't smoke and thought, well if I lasted this long, maybe I can go further.
Also I wanted to know how much of the anxiety and nervousness was actually due to nicotine withdrawal symtoms.
Whichever the case, it was hard in the beginning, especially because you feel like you've lost a big part of yourself.
Smoking is not just a habit, it is a culture!
You have "smoking buddies" "smoker's jokes" all the gimmicks that has to do with smoking, the way you hold your ciggy to the way you blow out your smoke.
It takes time and effort to get it just right. To make smoking your own. To Own it.
Well.. to loose that, that culture that "coolness" those "buddies"... the one thing that had stuck with you all throughout your past ten years, the good times and bad..It was like you main support system and your companion when you're alone.
In other words you go through not only the physical withdrawls but the emotional and psychological.
But I've managed and now feel like "a non smoker" which is strange because I have always been not too keen on non smokers and non drinkers. Its like you hate couples when you're single and then you have a girl/boy friend and you feel like you've crossed the line. Because I am quite a loyal person, it feels like I have betrayed my smokers' group. My society, my people.
Well not completely. My familiarity and amiability towards my smokers are still there. I am not and will not be one of those people who will fan the air with their hands when smokes come their way, I will gladly inhale my serving of second hand smoke. I will not tell smokers that it is bad for them, on the contrary I had hell of a time during my withdrawal period, so I suggest they don't quit until they really want to torture themselves. I don't think smoking is disgusting or bad (okay I must admit that after I stopped smoking I've realized all my clothes don't stink any more)nor should smokers be casted out of society.
Let's just say I have become a non practicing smoker. But my heart is still you y'all.
Monday, July 10, 2006
EF flexicurity blog
Its amazing how the more "Beaurocratic-ish" organizations adapt to the current changes of the world.. media world more or less.
Whichever the case, The European Foundation for the Improvement of Living and Working Condition ( yes this is one name), which is a policy generator/research group for the European Commission (who I am currently working for as a contractor for two projects), has made their own blog.
Well not their blog, but one on flexicurity.
They publish some interesting articles on flexibility and security, which in other words is flexicurity. Its worth checking out, that is if you are interested in this topic.. which I know there are only a handfull of us IN THE WORLD...
http://flexicurity.blogspot.com
your's truely's paper is also up on the web.. god know how, but still.
Whichever the case, The European Foundation for the Improvement of Living and Working Condition ( yes this is one name), which is a policy generator/research group for the European Commission (who I am currently working for as a contractor for two projects), has made their own blog.
Well not their blog, but one on flexicurity.
They publish some interesting articles on flexibility and security, which in other words is flexicurity. Its worth checking out, that is if you are interested in this topic.. which I know there are only a handfull of us IN THE WORLD...
http://flexicurity.blogspot.com
your's truely's paper is also up on the web.. god know how, but still.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Dutch Culture 101 - Individualism and the art of "leaving eachother alone"
Many people believe that the Dutch are quite liberal in their ways, thus the legalization of marijuana prostitution, Amsterdam being the gay capital of Europe.
The reality is that the Dutch are not liberal in their ways, and are as stubborn and conservative as its neighbours and maybe even more so. Women conceal their bra straps in the street and still women take care of the children most of the time in the Netherlands. They also have prejudiced images of foreigners and are not afraid of saying that will be perceived of being somewhat racist. Such as “Yeah, Aldi is a cheapy store, you can see all of the Muslims there.” You can also see this from the Zwart Piets which are white men that colour their faces in black coal portraying the black slaves that were shipped over from North Africa in the past. They think this is "funny" as they dress these Piets in funny clothing and make them act very silly, degrading in contrast to the calm polite white man in a white robe who is their owner and Sinter Klaas. BTW Dutch society is completely segregated and it is as if there are several separate societies that do not meet even down the generations.
The actual truth is that the Dutch are complete individualists. They are completely into their own worlds and try not to invade other's privacy. This can be a good thing, if not invading other's privacy consist of being considerate of others around you so you don’t bother them. This is not the case in the Netherlands. People will bump into you without excusing themselves, they will talk very loud in trains and other public transportations, people who are supposed to provide you with service will be very rude, neighbours will turn on loud music which will blow your ear drums out till which ever hour they wish to.
Their not invading others privacy is that nobody goes up to any of them to tell them this is wrong or inconsiderate. This is also why this country is infamous for having the most dog dung in pavements and parks for dog owners refuse to do hold any compassion for others who will eventually step on them. I think this is also why they are so direct, in bad ways as well as good, for they forget how it feels on the other side. So most of the time, they will not point out something being inconsiderate, but will just so the same thing or something of the sort themselves.
On the other hand, invasion of one’s privacy is considered very impolite or just plain “wrong.” For example, they will consider asking someone for drinks or for dinner in less than two weeks notice will be a breach of privacy because they are invading one’s freedom to have other plans. You should always ask two, three weeks in advance. Also probably it will be considered rude to go up to a person who has his headphones on too loud in the morning commuter’s train, for it is that person’s own liberty even if it is harming others privacy. Actually I was shouted at due to the fact that I pointed out to my neighbour who had played loud Dutch folk music outside for the past two months from 10 AM till 10 ~11 PM that was so loud that you can hear it clearly even with the windows tightly shut. When I went over to their house to ask if they could possibly put it down, because I was sick and it was giving me headaches because of the drums, and then they criticized me saying “We’ve lived here for 30 years and nobody has said anything and you come and say something about my music?” It offended them that this foreigner from nowhere came over and invaded their privacy. I wasn’t going to back down. I told them that I was sick and would really appreciate it if they could just lower the sound down a bit so that we “all can live”(I emphasized this bit). They looked at me as if I was strange and keep emphasizing the fact that they lived there for 30 years and I was the only person who gave them problems. I gave them problems. At the end, they didn’t lower their music one bit even after my two visits. They also own dogs which bark throughout the night.
Of course, they are not wrong per se, it is just that they have different principles, and it is VERY different from anywhere else I’ve lived and other places in general. Whichever the case, Dutch individualism should not be confused with liberalism… and as they say here to foreigners who complain, “If you don’t like it emigrate!”
Maybe that is my only solution.
The reality is that the Dutch are not liberal in their ways, and are as stubborn and conservative as its neighbours and maybe even more so. Women conceal their bra straps in the street and still women take care of the children most of the time in the Netherlands. They also have prejudiced images of foreigners and are not afraid of saying that will be perceived of being somewhat racist. Such as “Yeah, Aldi is a cheapy store, you can see all of the Muslims there.” You can also see this from the Zwart Piets which are white men that colour their faces in black coal portraying the black slaves that were shipped over from North Africa in the past. They think this is "funny" as they dress these Piets in funny clothing and make them act very silly, degrading in contrast to the calm polite white man in a white robe who is their owner and Sinter Klaas. BTW Dutch society is completely segregated and it is as if there are several separate societies that do not meet even down the generations.
The actual truth is that the Dutch are complete individualists. They are completely into their own worlds and try not to invade other's privacy. This can be a good thing, if not invading other's privacy consist of being considerate of others around you so you don’t bother them. This is not the case in the Netherlands. People will bump into you without excusing themselves, they will talk very loud in trains and other public transportations, people who are supposed to provide you with service will be very rude, neighbours will turn on loud music which will blow your ear drums out till which ever hour they wish to.
Their not invading others privacy is that nobody goes up to any of them to tell them this is wrong or inconsiderate. This is also why this country is infamous for having the most dog dung in pavements and parks for dog owners refuse to do hold any compassion for others who will eventually step on them. I think this is also why they are so direct, in bad ways as well as good, for they forget how it feels on the other side. So most of the time, they will not point out something being inconsiderate, but will just so the same thing or something of the sort themselves.
On the other hand, invasion of one’s privacy is considered very impolite or just plain “wrong.” For example, they will consider asking someone for drinks or for dinner in less than two weeks notice will be a breach of privacy because they are invading one’s freedom to have other plans. You should always ask two, three weeks in advance. Also probably it will be considered rude to go up to a person who has his headphones on too loud in the morning commuter’s train, for it is that person’s own liberty even if it is harming others privacy. Actually I was shouted at due to the fact that I pointed out to my neighbour who had played loud Dutch folk music outside for the past two months from 10 AM till 10 ~11 PM that was so loud that you can hear it clearly even with the windows tightly shut. When I went over to their house to ask if they could possibly put it down, because I was sick and it was giving me headaches because of the drums, and then they criticized me saying “We’ve lived here for 30 years and nobody has said anything and you come and say something about my music?” It offended them that this foreigner from nowhere came over and invaded their privacy. I wasn’t going to back down. I told them that I was sick and would really appreciate it if they could just lower the sound down a bit so that we “all can live”(I emphasized this bit). They looked at me as if I was strange and keep emphasizing the fact that they lived there for 30 years and I was the only person who gave them problems. I gave them problems. At the end, they didn’t lower their music one bit even after my two visits. They also own dogs which bark throughout the night.
Of course, they are not wrong per se, it is just that they have different principles, and it is VERY different from anywhere else I’ve lived and other places in general. Whichever the case, Dutch individualism should not be confused with liberalism… and as they say here to foreigners who complain, “If you don’t like it emigrate!”
Maybe that is my only solution.
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