(Almost) never in my life have I strived to be the voluminous luscious girly sexy pretty type. It just wasn't the field I competed in..or can compete in.. I rather compete for the cynical, funny, smart or just crazy category, where I at least had some chance to win- or be in the higher ranks, if you know what I am saying.
For this reason, for me make-up, bras or other feminine things were just minor things I needed, not necessarily feeling it is important. From this reason, I guess I had mis-judged my self all my life or most specifically, I have recently found out that I have bought the wrong size bras all my life.
Firstly I have to admit that the reason I was in the shop to begin with, was because I wanted to try out the padded bras- which I have never tried - just to see whether it really does change your life, and how people look at you. A little social experience if you may. Whichever the case, not knowing exactly what size I needed to buy - trying on my old size, I asked the shop clerk. She told me, well you're buying the wrong size. You're **C... not &&B. (I refuse to put the sizes in because that's just giving away too much info I think)
"C? What do you mean I am a C cup? I can't... well... I never"
Anyways, the funny thing is that when I was in Korea they gave me @@A, and then found out later here in the Netherlands, I am actually a &&B (okay, the @@ is 5 cms larger than &&), and then this week I found out that I am actually a **C(yeah ** is also 5 cms smaller than &&- which means that my chest sizes are getting smaller but my breasts are the same size or something). But the thing is when I put on the bra, it felt like coming home. the thought went through my mind- "Yes, this IS my size. What was I thinking all those years, using the wrong size. I feel so comfortable, and well supported. Wow...I feel like my true self"
(I wonder if I will experience the same emotional rush and the same certainty when I meet the guy of my life...doubt it really)
Whichever the case, now that I have the correct size- with a bit of padding-they call this the light weight padding- my god, if I look inside the mirror, I feel "all breasty". The bra/breast takes up so much space and I feel like a curvey woman. I am like all breast right now.
And then it got me thinking, maybe I am a girly girlish breasty curvey woman, am have been foolin myself all these years.- for one must admit that the perception of yourself changes through image as well- like if you are a big girl within your circle or society, you think of yourself accordingly, where as you are the small girl- visa versa. Although being a C cup is just normal here in the NLs, I feel like I've just gained- or gotten a shot of estrogenes inside me.