Smell of spring

there cannot be any smell more nostalgic and sensual than the smell of spring night
It is a mixture of the first signs of the warm breeze that swiped away the cold with the reminiscence of the ligering sunlight of the day and a hint of the fragile scents of the spring flowers that have just opened up themselves to the world to be loved.

If you breath it in, it melts you heart away, makes your muscles loose and all the things that were rigid and frozen within you from the the winter's cold melts away by the little particles inside the spring breeze.

It take you back to the memories of the springs before, of the love and the heartaches. It is so much that it even hurts from the recollections and the pangs of the winters past.

Whichever the case, it give me such an high that is incomparable to any thing, an melancolic high that unties all the knots in myself...

ahhh spring

the big bowl fills up later

대기만성
this means that the big bowl fills up later(than smaller bowls), which mean people who will become big in society actually bloom later on in life.



Imagine the guy or girl who was the coolest kid in class/grade and then look at them now. You see?

For one, I think all the experiences in the world, we strive to have them earlier. As if earlier the better, but I also think that you get jaded easier when you experience these things too fast, too soon.

For example, I've been to 8 conferences in the past two/three years, and must say now feel abit jaded towards them in the sense that I know them now. Am up for newier things in life.
In that sense you get one over with and go on to the next, but this is not neccesarily good... I would imagine.

There is a time and place for everything, as the song goes.

market values of love

"two people fall in love when they feel they have found the best object available on the market, considering the limitations of their own exchange values."

Erich Fromm The Art of Loving

The only thing is that this presupposes that we all compete in the same market.
It may be that I am only trading stocks in the Dow Jones, while you work in Nasdaq...
Or more so that I am in the shoe markets while you are in the fishing industry.

Also its true that you sometimes find something that you thought were not "your market".. your game if you may...I thought I was in the baseball game and find this remarkable hockey player to my taste...

The point being is that Fromm has a point to some degree but due to post-moderism, diversified cultural streams and its ability to spread like wildfire from the advancement of technology, there are several markets working simultaneously and new markets opening up everyday. So many that it is actually not just hard to find someone with the right market values- so you wouldn't lose out on the "merger" but just to find your market period.
But I do believe for many, who do not venture out for the unique market strategically aiming for the niche, but sticks to the more what you may the "main markets" of this society where the blond blue eyed size 34/size 4(depending on whether you live in Europe or the states) gets the pick, the Fromm principles do adhere to quite a large extent.

The next question being who is the person in charge of labeling people with their "true fundemental values"? and how do we know what ours is? how other's prices go?
When does it drop and to what extent?

Learn how to love

As anything in the world, you must learn how to love, and learn from your past experiences. To see what are the mistakes I've made before, and what I can learn from them. I think one tends to forget to do this for relationships.

Erich Fromm in The Art of Loving points out that it is indeed an art which entails knowledge and effort, that one to really love, must learn the theory and practices of Love like any other things in life.

Also within the relationships, I think you must really "work" at it, for uptill now what I've realized is that there isn't someone who is perfect, and even if there is your chance of meeting that person will be quite slight due to various circumstances.
Thus you must first try to see what the person in front of you has to offer, for although you've never imagined yourself with that type of person, it might be the case, where that person will suprise you with new things that you have never imagined that you will like.

You must learn how to love that person, to see what the positive sides there are of the person- as if trying out new icecream flavours. Sure, chocolate might be your favourite, but how about variations on chocolate, or yoghurts or fruit sorbet.
As you are willing to try out new things- food and other wise, such as new experiences- you must be willing to give yourself and others new people a chance.

From what I've experienced, although at the end of the day it may not work out, it will broaden your horizens and you will learn from it, and well let's just say that you might be happily surprised during the time.

One sound advice

Here's a nice advice for those of you that need some.

More and more I feel that you shouldn't have expectations, especially towards other people.
Its only when you don't expect anything from them, that is when they suprise you with a character, remark, action whatever.

Its only when you expect something, and have your hopes up, then in most cases you will be disappointed.


When you find something really nice about someone by suprise, without expecting it, it will be like finding a nice little trasure box. If not well, its not like you were expecting to find one anyways.

This of course does not mean do not trust people, or never open yourself up towards other. You should trust them and open yourself up. But do not think that you'll always get reciprocity. Just do it without expecting anything back.

Of course, easily said then done...

My newly found self

(Almost) never in my life have I strived to be the voluminous luscious girly sexy pretty type. It just wasn't the field I competed in..or can compete in.. I rather compete for the cynical, funny, smart or just crazy category, where I at least had some chance to win- or be in the higher ranks, if you know what I am saying.

For this reason, for me make-up, bras or other feminine things were just minor things I needed, not necessarily feeling it is important. From this reason, I guess I had mis-judged my self all my life or most specifically, I have recently found out that I have bought the wrong size bras all my life.

Firstly I have to admit that the reason I was in the shop to begin with, was because I wanted to try out the padded bras- which I have never tried - just to see whether it really does change your life, and how people look at you. A little social experience if you may. Whichever the case, not knowing exactly what size I needed to buy - trying on my old size, I asked the shop clerk. She told me, well you're buying the wrong size. You're **C... not &&B. (I refuse to put the sizes in because that's just giving away too much info I think)

"C? What do you mean I am a C cup? I can't... well... I never"

Anyways, the funny thing is that when I was in Korea they gave me @@A, and then found out later here in the Netherlands, I am actually a &&B (okay, the @@ is 5 cms larger than &&), and then this week I found out that I am actually a **C(yeah ** is also 5 cms smaller than &&- which means that my chest sizes are getting smaller but my breasts are the same size or something). But the thing is when I put on the bra, it felt like coming home. the thought went through my mind- "Yes, this IS my size. What was I thinking all those years, using the wrong size. I feel so comfortable, and well supported. Wow...I feel like my true self"
(I wonder if I will experience the same emotional rush and the same certainty when I meet the guy of my life...doubt it really)

Whichever the case, now that I have the correct size- with a bit of padding-they call this the light weight padding- my god, if I look inside the mirror, I feel "all breasty". The bra/breast takes up so much space and I feel like a curvey woman. I am like all breast right now.
And then it got me thinking, maybe I am a girly girlish breasty curvey woman, am have been foolin myself all these years.- for one must admit that the perception of yourself changes through image as well- like if you are a big girl within your circle or society, you think of yourself accordingly, where as you are the small girl- visa versa. Although being a C cup is just normal here in the NLs, I feel like I've just gained- or gotten a shot of estrogenes inside me.

Northern folks more happy?

A recent report by the OECD shows that from all OECD countries, more people in Iceland, Ireland, Canada and the Netherlands are happy with all four countries with more than 95% its (surveyed) population replying that they are "quite happy" or "very happy".
However it is the Netherlands with more respondants saying they are "very happy". However most of the other northern European countries- i.e. Iceland, Norway, Sweden, Finland and Denmark- are not that far behind with highest percentages of the population saying they are happy.

Why is this?
They do all have the "developed welfare state" although they also have bad/cold weather, and looong winter nights.
However, they also have high suicide rates as well - for example Finland has one of the highest suicide rates and for youth suicides Iceland has the highest of all OECD.

More Aussies smoke weed than all other OECD countries

A new report by the OECD shows that more Australians smoke weed than people from any other OECD countries with 15% of the population between the ages 15 to 64 reported to have smoked weed in the past year(2001- latest data). Right after the Aussies were Kiwis with 13%, and Americans with 11%. It's apparent that speaking English makes you smoke weed alot or atleast more because the five countries out of the top 6 were all English speaking countries- Canada 11%, UK 10% - the only exception was Czech Republic with 11%. The lowest countries were Korea and Japan, where its strictly prohibited - with jail sentences starting from six months even if you have weed substance in your urine- with 0.1%.
Suprisingly the Netherlands, where weed is legal only 6%, which is only average level.

If you consider the whole world, Papa New Guinea holds the number one position with 29.5% of its population smoking doobies, Micronesia Federation State is just off with 29.1% although these are 1995 records.

And to suprise of many, Jamaica only 11% have been reported to have smoked weed, which is comparable to that of the UK.
In Vanuatu - which was praised for having the highest "happy scores" from Stuart Jefferies column - only 0.1% of people smoked weed in 1997.

And of all the world, the country with the least weed smokers, yes indeed the police country where its not even allowed to chew gum in public, Singapore with 0.004...

Birthday meaning

Your Birthdate: August 1

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet. You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily. Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail. You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details. Your strength: Your supreme genius Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity Your power color: Gold Your power symbol: Star Your power month: January

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

As much as I want to say this is full of crap, I am amazed at its accuracy... my god I must be completely "norm"al.

===============
because of my curiosity, just cracked the code- the birthday meaning does not have anything to do with the combination of your birth month and day- it completely relies on your birth day. Everyone who is born on the 1st- may it be January, February, .... all have the same outcome.

혼외 출산

경남일보 오늘일자 신문에서 김용현 저출산고령사회정책본부장이 혼외출산이 장려를 강조하였다.
그에 의하면 "고령화속도가 늦은 미국이나 프랑스는 혼외출산율이 높다. 프랑스의 경우 40% 정도가 혼외출산이다. 가정을 이루지 않고도 자유롭게 아이를 낳는 것이다. 우리도 혼외출산에 대한 일반적인 인식을 바꾸고 사회적으로도 미혼모의 복지, 아이의 인권 등을 강화해야 한다."

물론, 그가 혼외 출산이 증가되어야 한다고 주장하는 것은 아니고, 혼외 출산에서 태어난 아이에 대한 인식을 바꿔야 한다는 것이다. 그러나, 다시 잘 생각하면, 혼외 출산이 높은 나라의 인용을 하며, 결혼하지 않더라도 자유롭게 아이를 낳을 수 환경을 조성하여야 함을 주장하고 있다고 볼 수 있다.

나 역시 그와 같은 생각이며, 더 나아가 기본적으로 한국에서 결혼이라는 제도에 대한 재검토가 필요하다고 본다.
중요한 것은, 우리나라의 이와 같은 이념, 사고가치관의 변화의 속도이다.
불과 몇년전만해도 이와 같은 생각은 절대 통하지도 않을 뿐만 아니라, 정부 관계자가 말한다는 것은 상상도 못했을 것이다. 그러나, 이제 출산과 고령화의 문제 등 사회 문제들이 생기자, 사람들의 생각도 빨리 바뀌게 되는 것이다. 물론 심정은 그만큼 빠르게 바뀌기는 어려울 것이다. 즉, 생각으로는 이것도 옳을 수 있다고 받아들일 수는 있지만, 아마 심정적으로 아직 "저 사람은 결혼 안하고 아이를 혼자 낳아서 키웁니다"라는 말을 들었을 때 대부분의 사람들은 아직 부정적인 시각을 가지고 볼 것이다.

그러나 대단하다, 한국의 변화하는 속도는, 그리고 앞으로 5년 10년간 어떠한 (사상적인/시각의) 변화들이 이루어질지 솔직히 감이 잘 안잡히나, 미래가 결코 어둡지많은 않은듯 하다.